📰I've written about a small, south London company called Nella Cutlery, for this week's @thetimes.com business column. 🔪They sharpen knives. Which may sound dull. But according to the wise readers of The Times it's "absolutely fascinating"....and who am I to argue with them?

Truly we live in the Age of Stupid. The press releases I get...🤦‍♂️

Burnham Government says it is cutting VAT of pubs, music venues & clubs – helping 32,000 businesses. But the British Beer and Pub Association says there are 44,650 pubs in UK. So...which pubs are missing out? Which pub is not a "pub"? Is Toby Carvery a pub? Is Wetherspoons missing out?

Why is it the Department for Business is always the one that gets a clumsy rebrand? Anyone remember the DTI? Berr, Bis, Beis or the Department for Productivity, Energy and Industry, which lasted all of a week after it was pointed out its acronym was: PEnIs...😆

Apparently they did

🎱I'm surprised there's been little fuss made about the UK joining huge USA Powerball lottery this week, becoming the only country outside US – apart from Puerto Rico & US Virgin Islands. Current jackpot = $544 million. If UK person wins, operator says it'll be paid out in increments over 30yrs

Wayne Rooney – I used to think he was an overrated footballer and terrible pundit. But all is forgiven. After his wonderfully concise review of FIFA’s World Cup half time show: “I thought it was crap” 👌

Weird story in Mail on Sunday. Commodity ingredients that are incredibly light cost much more – on a per gram basis – than luxury products that weigh far more – on a per gram basis. No sh*t, Sherlock.

Intriguing Births announcement in the The Times. A daughter for descendent of a famous Titanic survivor. Congrats. But…why is it published 14 years after her birth? 🧐

New York Times – we’re going to badly fall out. How can you allow “pshaw” in yesterday’s Wordle. But not allow a standard architectural term in today’s Spelling Bee?

Fascinated that Steven Bartlett has been forced (I presume he didn’t volunteer) to print this warning on his podcast clips. Translation: I interview people purely for clickbait purposes. Not to interrogate their wacky claims.

2018: Deschamps 2022: Desrunnersup 2026: Desconsolationfinalist (respectfully)

Ouch...

This is *so* good. Maggie O’Farell is just brilliant. Brilliant plotting, brilliant ambiguous characters. Reads like a thriller. Top recommendation for a summer read…(yes, I know it came out a few years ago)

Tbf that's his phone for monitoring his insulin levels, not his actual phone.

TV cameras at @wimbledonltc.bsky.social catch Zverev checking his phone in a break. And his password appears to be 1111. Kids, choose stronger passwords!

Car horns blaring in North London. After…a dismal display of uninspiring football in the quarter finals. Too soon. Too soon.

I think anyone who says “frankly, it’s like living in a communist country” should be disbarred from high office

Times Birth column Saturday – Evelyn x2 Today – Seraphina x2 Fascinating how baby names gather momentum.

Gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Jude’s Day

As in 1066 England will prevail against the Norwegians before tragically losing to the French a couple of weeks later.

Terrific piece on @England’s epic victory vs Mexico by Martin Samuel in @thetimes.com. And, yes, I am glad my kids woke me up to watch. www.thetimes.com/article/28d1...

Nerves SHREDDED

Completely fascinated by how Emily Maitlis has become the new Nigel Farage/Andrew Bailey on the other platform – AI rendered public figure caught in “shocking” moment. Mostly because this looks nothing like Emily Maitlis.

🍌 I’ve been exploring the amazing world of bananas. Again! Joining @edconway.bsky.social on his new (v good!) podcast Stuff Matters to explore why this is the most popular supermarket product & why it’s so cheap. We visited the Fyffes warehouse to see 13m bananas be ripened

Ben Stokes has announced – in the middle of this test match – he’s retiring from England cricket. A sad day. He’s been such a force of nature over the last few years. And good for the game (whatever his personal issues)

Last year people went loopy for the M&S strawberry sandwich. 🤷With 1m sold in 5weeks. This year it's back. Plus a new Chocolate, Strawberry & Pistachio Creme one. Which is bound to be even sweeter & strangely cake like. If I get my hands on one, I shall report back...

Very chuffed to win ‘Commentator of the Year’ at last night’s @headlinemoney.bsky.social Awards. For my @thetimes.com business column – a bit of light relief at the end of the week. A chance to poke fun at idiot bosses and champion great innovative businesses. Keep sending me ideas!

☔️ It’s absolutely p*ssing it down in Boston. Will @FIFAWorldCup nonetheless insist on a “hydration break” to keep its sponsors happy?

Am I the only one to find ChatGPT’s billboard/print adverts for the World Cup rather depressing? Outsourcing your imagination. Outsourcing joy.