You think that I could put a packet of Immodium into a bag of lettuce and market it as a salad kit?
And somewhere between the time you arrive And the time you go May lie a reason you were alive but you'll never know
Secret Drug Addict@scrtdrugaddict.bsky.social · 2w ago
Oooh, shiny! Thanks to @rustypants.com All of the actions on this are stiff, like it has never been used. Complete with that old-time-feeling sepia-toned viewfinder. Off to order some FP4. #believeinfilm
UL should not approve any appliance listing unless the clock can be set by a 12-year-old without the manual.
It is well known that one of the circles of Hell is people trying to learn how to work with drywall. What is less well-known is that one of the lower circles is tasked with fixing their mistakes. If you've been particularly bad, you get sent to both.
I was so disappointed when I learned that soul food contains no actual souls.
I missed the Lanthanides of March and the famous Shakespeare quote of Mark Antimony: "I come to barium cesium, not to praseodymium."
A friend pointed this out to me years ago that men's pant inseams get shorter as the waist size gets larger, and it is not because pants are worn lower. I confess that in college I wore 30/36 (waist/inseam) pants. Now they are 36/30. If I get any bigger I'll be able to make pants out of my socks.
I've gotten so many compliments on my looks since I switched embalmers.
Orpheus at the petrol station.
Bevan Thomas@bevanthomas.bsky.social · 7mo agoIn Greek mythology, when the demigod Orpheus lost his wife Eurydice forever, he wandered all over Greece in misery as he constantly sang and played his lyre. His music was so sad that humans, animals, and even the trees and rocks all cried in grief. #MythologyMonday
Maria Telesheva (button accordion) made it to NPR's Tiny Desk. www.npr.org/2026/01/14/g...
From the Top: Tiny Desk Concert
A trio of amazing young musicians, from ages nine to 18, give jaw-dropping performances that will bolster your faith in the future of great music making.
npr.org
"Is that a roll of dog-poop bags in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
I used to keep a bottle of glass cleaner on my desk for when people would touch my screen. I don't think that I ever needed to spray anyone more than once.
Maria Telesheva at the Leavenworth International Accordion Championship 2024 (she won). youtu.be/WZeqaP_trPI?...
Maria Telesheva Winner of the Leavenworth International Accordion Competition 2024 (Classical Cat.)
YouTube video by Sergei Teleshev Accordion
youtu.be
How has no one used the name Diphthongs for a line of women's swimwear?
They paved paradise and Put up a litter box. --From "Big Yellow Tabby"
If anyone asks me how old I am I just tell them that God signed my birth certificate.
I'm starting to think that retirement's only purpose is to give you time for all of the medical appointments.
Am I the only one who takes the warning "No user serviceable parts inside" as a challenge?
My dad used to say that I got my mom's good looks. Because he still had his.
I can't look at a husky without immediately thinking of the Crystal Gayle song "Don't It Make My Brown Eye Blue."
Let me just say that whomever first advanced the idea of turning something off and back on again to fix it, was definitely not a plumber.
Every time I see someone use the abbreviation LBD I immediately think "Little Black Dog" and I'm always disappointed if they mean something else.
The real challenge is trying to find a meaningful overnight relationship.
I just want to remind everyone that this will be the last year that I will be waxing my gibbous moon.
"That's it, I've seen enough. I'm out of here." "Where are you going?" "Helena." "Montana?" "Hand basket."