everything is terrible, but I've just spent 4 hours on a sweaty Thames party boat with 350 gays and gals dancing to Kylie Minogue and it was marvellous 💖

Love this message from my son about the emergency warning. Come the apocalypse, there'll be a load of people in the valleys frantically using Google Translate.

We have a Prime Minister called Andy Burnham and I don't think that's a coincidence 🔥🔥🔥

when your hotel room has a four poster bed and a chaise longue, but absolutely no clothes storage whatsoever 🤷‍♀️

honestly Sweden I love you but having one manned immigration desk for a packed plane from London is an arsehole move.

holding Paddington's paw

Gordo!@posting.fan · last wk.

Burnham is going to take the knee at the Dobby Grave

I have just seen the trailer for Wicker and that looks right up my bonkers nonsense sexy Wurzel alley.

Just been to see a new physio, was driving me CRAZY not knowing where I've seen him before. Have I seen him at a different clinic? Did we once meet in the gym? Aaargh. Just worked out that he played Alfred in Downton Abbey.

PSA: Intense Coffee Mini Magnums are 10/10

after many years playing the Match Of The Day theme tune, our local ice cream van/drug dealer has switched to The Sailor's Hornpipe. Maybe the BBC intervened.

woman in my hair salon is telling her stylist about her hen weekend plans. So far it includes a private chef, some kind of muscle waiter drag brunch (me neither) and a Harry Potter-themed murder mystery dinner.

Did a venn diagram of Strictly Come Dancing contestants

Anyone else watched Ann Droid (which is brilliantly funny, by the way) and is now stuck with a permanent Cotton Eye Joe earworm?

quite excited about this prospect, ngl

Paddington is currently hotter than the sun, the owners of this poor dog want locking up 😞

Always thought of Jesus as being more toppy but what do I know.

Rob Palk@robpalk.bsky.social · 3w ago

Tmi

In case you needed it, here's Mabel eating watermelon like she's got absolutely no interest in maintaining even the vaguest shred of dignity.

Popped down the farm for some wholesome evening shenanigans.

I have a neighbour who starts up the world's loudest motorbike at 6.25am every weekday. I hve cursed him c.300 times a year for 9 years and it hasn't worked.

Big Joel@bigjoel.bsky.social · 4w ago

I just don’t understand how loud motorcycles are legal I just DONT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN LEGALLY SELL SUCH A THING

Cleansing your Sunday timeline with this morning's dog walk.

Picking blackberries in mid July when it's 28 degrees outside feels all kinds of wrong. This is abnormally early, right?

The violence of bringing baldness into the case for assisted dying

oh no absolutely fuck that shit.

Rhodri Marsden@rhodri.biz · last mo.

Wordle players assemble and prepare for a bloody coup 🙁

convinced husband to go to GP today, signs the bursitis on his elbow was infected. They squeezed him in, referred him to Bath hospital, and 5 hours later he'd had blood test results, x-ray and antibiotics. I know the NHS is on its knees but when it works it really works. The staff were fantastic.

My sister is an RAF IT specialist and my brother is a police investigator. I would massively suck at both.

Bethany Albertson@albertsonb2.bsky.social · last mo.

Thought experiment- if you were suddenly appointed to do your sibling’s job, how badly would you suck at it?

"Verify your age" I bought my first house aged 20. It cost £39k and required a £5k deposit.

badly drawn bee 🐝@soapachu.bsky.social · last mo.

"Verify your age" My bus ride to/from school cost 18p

That special feeling when you've painstakingly written an email in French requesting a vet appointment on your next trip, treating it as a challenge and using Google Translate as little as possible, and French vet just replies in English. I can practically hear the eye roll, merci mon ami.

Let me help.the Sunday night dread with 12 minutes of pure joy, courtesy of the band of HM Royal Marines. youtu.be/qYgn5LxKCFw?...

Ibiza Prom Classics | Royal Albert Hall | The Bands of HM Royal Marines

YouTube video by The Bands of HM Royal Marines

youtu.be

please enjoy this video of Mabel doing another outstanding river sploosh.

I have no idea who this man is, but this video has made me indescribably happy.

Eric Columbus@ericcolumbus.bsky.social · last mo.

I have watched this 30 times and may watch it 30 more. GO NORWAY! (How do you say that in Norwegian?)