Hermes took 'em all, gave his daughter eight arms and four wings, now there's none left for the rest of the blessed

Krypteia Official (GO parody account)@krypteiaofficial.bsky.social · 11h ago

I don't get why there aren't more holy cyborgs with four arms. Everyone knows the ideal woman has four arms and a tail.

i am not Neutral Fucking Catdog you godsdamned ingrates!

i know that i'm lord hera's favorite because she said that I'm allowed to keep all of the dead kyrpteia interns 🥰

gods do I love feeding insane false reports to the low-ranking krypteia members. Basically the only shit that makes life worth living anymopre

@desire.gunmetolymp.us Please stop, the dildos down in the Vault are too powerful for you, they're too dangerous, even if you managed to steal one it'd make you cum so hard you'd explode into tasty yellow dust and die permanently.

Krypteia Official (GO parody account)@krypteiaofficial.bsky.social · 4w ago

Aphrodite keeps trying to sneak into the vaults to get titan dildos. We keep telling her the titans didn't have dildos. She won't listen and keeps coming back. Someone please help we are not equipped to deal with this.

@giantslayer.gunmetolymp.us Anyway, check your inbox 😉

damn, samus metroid just like me fr

finally, the book that explains who the hell i even am

Saffron@dragonsaffron.bsky.social · last mo.

I've talked about this a few times, but I can now officially announce that preorders are open for my first Gunmetal Olympus novel, Grindstone's Affection! I advertise it thusly: Doctor Old Lady Cigarettes sex scene. THREE OF THEM. saffron-drake.itch.io/grindstones-...

Bro. Bro that's just me. There is no hekatoncheires incident it's literally just me. Who even runs this shit

Krypteia Official (GO parody account)@krypteiaofficial.bsky.social · last mo.

Alert: yaoi hande are now *illegal* on account of the Hekatoncheires Incident. If you believe that your hands are of sufficient size to qualify, please report to your local Krypteia offices for downsizing to safe levels.

well fuck you too buddy

Krypteia Official (GO parody account)@krypteiaofficial.bsky.social · last mo.

If you encounter a non-canon character, do not panic. Simply exit the scene in a normal fashion and avoid drawing her attention and becoming involved in Shenanigans. Sightings of pale, crudely-drawn gremlins are rare but we must be ever-vigilant.

would

Super Scary Mango@mangomakes.bsky.social · last mo.

idea from @demongrrl.gay that was just too funny not to draw #art #fanart #gunmetalolympus

guy whos been forcefemmed enough times that he just kinda accepts it and lowkey makes being forcefemmed a part of his identity even though he's still a guy

women sometimes try to kick me in the balls for my atrocious sexual and interpersonal misdeeds but they just break their ankles while I moan whorishly

Wait, you're telling me that the crazy lady who did all those experiments on me got married to friggin' ORPHEUS? Like the music guy? Aphrodite must've been feeling real creative that day.

you know, setting aside the constant pain and the hunger and the fact I'm cold to the touch, if you think about it I basically gave up on having eyebrows in exchange for being able to do tentacle hentai Whenever I Want. and that's still not worth it

Aeneas is completely owning my ass right now. saying how I'm trying to replace them with Galene "both in the cleaning sense and the sexual tension sense" as though that nymph even knows what sex is what sexual tension, what are they fucking talking about?

wellp. Here's hoping the charging cord for my flip-phone has enough voltage to do something for Galene. imgnna pass out now

if nobody suggests anything i;m gona go with my first plan with whac to chew up anbunch of batteries and spit them into her mouth like she's a baby bird

okay i got @galenethenymph.bsky.social back to my place and she smells like she's still alive but what do tI do now. I don't know nymph medicine if anyone has any ideas please please please please please

HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER GALENE I'LL SAVE YOU

Galene@galenethenymph.bsky.social · 2mo ago

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the one thing about growing up on the floating platforms is that I still struggle to sleep without the ambient siren song

Climbing up the tallest tower in all of Elysium so that I can scream I FUCKING LOVE WOMEN really loud

a shark can smell a single drop of girl balls from over a mile away

hey someone should go check on the dragon she's got a weirdly eidolon-shaped bulge in her stomach i think she's sick

you know i bet if i built an antenna i could totally get cell reception on my cursed iron skin and be able to download porn whenever i want. If only I knew how to built an antenna

I hope Hera remembers to instantiate a new head of the Pneumatics Division soon. I know the previous head got metaphysically deleted for good reasons, zhe was a sex pest, but it's kind of annoying to have to interact with a nameless white void on a regular basis.

in the artifact vault. straight up jorkin it. and by "it", haha, well. let's just say. my tendrilts

Nobody else in Elysium could possibly understand my pain because nobody else has ever had a sibling that they were close to and then lost forever

#YuriNation

Wait guys im invited to the OC orgy, right? right?