A horse walks into a bar and says "Two creme de menthes please." The barman comes around the bar and opens the horse revealing two sheep. "Get out. You're barred."
H. H. Shaw
@hhshaw.bsky.social
The Orion Spur Series. Sci-fi, space opera, adventure. And stuff - Mostly Ma Sichun stuff! #OrionSpurSeries They/Them @HHShaw@mastodonapp.uk
Did you know fruit flavoured condoms come in peach.
Mario & Luigi: Mario Takes Off Shades in Truck
ALT: Mario & Luigi: Mario Takes Off Shades in Truck
static.klipy.com
A horse walks into a bar, "Double vodka, quick." The barman says, "What's wrong?" The horse says, "I just saw a chicken cross the road." The barman says, "You're joking."
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says, "A diet Pepsi?" The horse says, "Something stronger. A Pepsi Max."
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says, "What'll you have?" The horse replies, "A diet Pepsi."
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says, "What'll you have?" The horse says, "A diet Pepsi."
Not to make the people who live in castle deprived areas feel inadequate, but the county (yes county, not country) I live in has so many they could run "guess the castle" picture competition every month for over 2 years.
Having read posts from sci-fi fans, I tried bluffing my way in a fan group. I failed. When asked what my favourite shows were, I said "Stargates G1, and Star Trek 5 Oyager."
Remember when companies had sensible names? Nowadays they're all Inqivinj and Fujeyenuh and Porcenk. And they all promise to grow your potential awareness in cyber online markets utilising the latest volatile agency.
Tears were streaming down the young woman's face. Kamina swatted an angry hand at them to wipe them away and smeared a bubble of snot over her cheek. Even wet and daubed with mucus, Kamina was still the most beautiful thing Hila had ever seen. #LesFicFri #OrionSpurSeries
Ocean@oceanwrites.bsky.social · last mo.Happy Fri #lesficfri Friends! 🤗 Today’s theme is ****Angry**** What’s got your characters ANGRY these days? 😡😤🤬😖
This week I started watching The Orville. This week I gave up watching The Orville. The scripts and acting were mediocre at best and it made the cardinal sin of making main characters stupid and ineffectual.
'That means I could be going into a war!' Tehvay thought, but she did not give voice to her sudden concern. She didn't want to end an otherwise pleasant evening on such a serious note. 'Besides, there's nothing I can do about it; I go where she goes.' #LesFicFri #OrionSpurSeries
Ocean@oceanwrites.bsky.social · 2mo agoHappy Thur #lesficfri Friends! 🤗 Tomorrow's theme is ****SERIOUS**** Is something SERIOUS going on in your stories these days? Or nope! Something SERIOUSLY not? 😕🤨🤔😐🫤
"If you were a slave, the very notion that you could resist and fight back is anathema to everything you believe. The concept is totally alien to you. You have no idea that the concept of resistance exists, let alone have a word for it." #LesFicFri #OrionSpurSeries
Ocean@oceanwrites.bsky.social · 2mo agoHappy Fri #lesficfri Friends! 🤗 Today's theme is ****BELIEVE**** What are your characters BELIEVING these days? 🤔👻🐉🪄🙏
There should be some device built into the collar of t-shirts to let you know you're putting them on back to front.
1. 1 racist. 2. 2 racists. 3. 3 racists. HA HA HA I love to count. 4. 4 racists. 5. 5 racists... 50. 50 racists... I don't love to count anymore.
What feels like a STAR TREK but isn’t actually a STAR TREK. Shall I go there... mmm... oh I went there.
Star Trek Discovery: Spore Drive in Action
Alt: Star Trek Discovery: Spore Drive in Action
static.klipy.com
James Geary@jamesmgeary.bsky.social · 3mo agoWhat feels like a STAR TREK but isn’t actually a STAR TREK.
@diamandahagan.bsky.social This is the sort of weird history stuff I expected to have learned from you.
Why do people like Chewbacca? Clone Wars - captured, Solo - captured, Clone Wars - captured, Empire Strikes Back - captured, Rise of Skywalker - captured. The guy's useless. #StarWars
Futurama predicts the future Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots. Bender: Hey, let's all join the Reform party. Everyone: Yeah.
The late Galyn Gorg played Helen of Troy in an episode of Xena in 1996. Of course this was before racists knew how to use the internet. #HelenOfTroy
"Brave" by Marillion "The Whirlwind" by Transatlantic "The Silent Whales of Lunar Sea" by Skyclad
🇲🇽 🌻 SamⒶntha 🌻 🏳️⚧️@samanthak.bsky.social · 3mo agoGonna drop 3, each from a different genre "Not for want of trying" by Maybeshewill "Horses" by Patty Smith "Vulture Culture" by The Alan Parsons Project
Good news, everyone. We no longer have a Grade A twat as Health Secretary. #WesStreeting
Good News Everyone! Futurama Professor Farnsworth
Alt: Good News Everyone! Futurama Professor Farnsworth
static.klipy.com
Me: Time to take my pills. My Body: I think you need to pee. Me: I know, 2 seconds. MB: P-- Me: Yes. Oh I need to start a new blister pack. Where's-- MB: Pee! Me: Hang on. MB: PEE! Me: 2 sec-- MB: PEEEEEEEEEEEE! Fuck my body.
Some thoughts on #SkyF1 coverage. If they spent less time telling us what's coming up, they could have more content. If they stop Ted Kravitz rambling on about whatever just attracted his attention, they could have more content. Very brave decision not to have theme music this year.
It's been dull and overcast all day. I finally get up the energy to move and turn the light on. 5 minutes later, the sun is out and I've got to build up the energy to move and turn the light off.
Apparently I've got unlimited texts to use up before the next month of my mobile contract.