Kitty Omega sleeps like this sometimes. 🐈 😸

Summer be trying to murderize us

Went to see Backrooms with my daughter yesterday, and I will say this about it: It is definitely a movie that I saw. 😂 What a mindf*ck lol

I have survived the first week of my new role at work. Barely! 😵‍💫

Spongebob: Patrick Star is Bored and Drooling

ALT: Spongebob: Patrick Star is Bored and Drooling

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Fell asleep on the couch last night and woke up to this very content sleeping kitty. 🐈‍⬛

I start my new job Monday! I’m scurrred

Lil Nervous Dog Meme

ALT: Lil Nervous Dog Meme

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I have now lost FORTY-FIVE POUNDS 😮 I cannot believe I am actually doing this.

Coco is watching me work 🥰 🐈‍⬛

Legend has it that if you leave a case of PBR on your doorstep tonight, the ghost of hulk hogan will appear with a Bluetooth speaker blaring “Real American” and put a bottle rocket in your mouth, light it, and atomic leg drop you in your bed.

I was playing with him and he fell asleep. My sweet baby boy. 😂 🐈

Sometimes you just have to make the bed around the cat. 🐈 🛏️

When a meeting starts and someone says “this is probably going to be short and sweet today.” Riiiiggggghhhhhtttt. It went over. 😂

Guess who got the JOB???

Nikki O: That Would Be Me

ALT: Nikki O: That Would Be Me

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I interviewed (2nd interview of 3) for a good promotion today. Interviews shave years off my life but I did great! Optimistic.

Well, that was definitely a Monday. 😵‍💫

He’s just so handsome.

Instead of saying “no worries” I’m just gonna start saying “all worries” because honestly that’s all I do. Between my health issues and my blown engine and my sick family members and house problems and job problems I’m just not sure I wanna do this any more.

Being a living person is SO HARD ALL OF THE TIME

I’ve lost 35 pounds since April 28th. I sure wish I would go down a freaking size 😂

Kitty Omega is just hangin’ out.

I really wish 1. I wasn’t f’ing BALDING and 2. Good wigs weren’t like 20 thousand dollars.

Hi I’m Mercury, aka Merky, aka Merky Turkey, aka Turkey Butt, aka Splooter McGavin, aka Splootie Tootie Fresh n’ Frooty, aka baby boy.

I cut my finger slicing an apple this morning. Not a big cut. Only bled a little. Did I still almost pass out? Maybe. It’s through the cuticle and I can’t look at it 😭

Mikey Day: For The Big Baby (SNL)

ALT: Mikey Day: For The Big Baby (SNL)

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I love when I wake up early enough to hear the owls in my neighborhood ❤️

Things I want to do when I reach my goal weight: Wear cunty high heels everywhere

Can I please volunteer to be euthanized?

Zero sugar dark chocolate Reese’s cups?? Autoship them to me for life

Real-time standoff over who gets to lay in the window. The little one lost 😂

POV: You ordered a lil ol pack of 12 pens from Staples. That’s my 72 inch TV in the background for scale.

People who voluntarily turn on their camera in a company wide meeting are the worst. “Pick me pick me!”😡

a man in a suit and bow tie is looking at the camera .

ALT: a man in a suit and bow tie is looking at the camera .

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