You ever eat seedless watermelon and accidentally eat one of those little white squiggly things? Like "I thought you said you were seedless? Now I gotta get a test to make sure I don't have something growing in my belly. I'm single in a 1 bedroom, I can't afford to raise a melon"

Off to a pretty good start on this Tokka and Rahzar painting!

As someone who makes a living doing art I'm really cautious around cops because they could easily accuse me of drawing a weapon.

I'm pretty excited to check out the new Spider-Man this weekend, he's easily my favorite superhero, only slightly ahead of Spawn. And even though I haven't gotten to do many Spider-Man tattoos in my career, I'm always stoked when I finally get the opportunity!

I was out biking on the trails the other day and I'm like 95% sure I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger ride by. If it wasn't him then it was definitely his twin brother Danny DeVito.

NASA announced that clouds of plasma from the sun are headed towards Earth which works out for me because I've been meaning to refill my white tattoo ink.

Went on a late night bike ride and my phone died, I rode around the inside of Broncos Stadium while they sat up for AC/DC because I stopped and talked to a roadie who was super cool, and there was a stray puppy on the elevator at my apartment so I'm a dog mom now. Good night!

The patch blew so I'm just replacing the entire tube 😭

Don't just protect trans youth, protect trans elders! Our backs hurt.

You know, the bigots have a good point. No one should get a day or a month for what they do in the bedroom and I say it's high time we ban mother's day and father's day!

RIP to Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors director Chuck Russell. Thanks for all of the nightmares!

Phoenix versus water dragon. Who do you think is coming out on top?

Between the diarrhea lettuce, the salmonella eggs, and glass in the bread, we've got all the ingredients to make a tossed my salad.

Out on my adventure and I stumbled upon where they grow the " hot dogs" for trans men. This one looks pretty ripe.

It's so hot goth girls gotta ironically bike at night! 🥵

Paying my respect to Sam Neill and watching Psycho Goreman.

Just saw a Tesla at an emissions testing garage and I shouldn't be surprised. Knowing the average IQ of Elon simps they probably saw the emissions sign and thought it was a side quest to unlock features in the vehicle they already paid for.

After a military jet nearly crashed into a crowd of beach goers, Kegsbreath should be less worried about low testosterone and more worried about low altitude.

Kegsbreath: We can't have trans soldiers because they require medications that may not be available in the midst of combat. Also Kegsbreath: Alright you beta male dipshits, line up for your gas station boner pill injections!

Made it to my destination with 69% left on the battery!

Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see. (Sam Neill, Event Horizon. 1997)

Next turtles painting laid out. Time to party!

Since Mitch McConnell and Lindsay Graham died everyone is looking at Trump like "It comes in three" but don't get your hopes up, Trump already came in a three year old.

At least the coffin situation is already figured out since Lady Graham never publicly came out of the closet.

The neat thing about Mitch McConnell by all standards and measurement being dead but kept "alive" by healthcare most Americans can only dream of ever receiving, is that there's a very slim but real chance he can hear the world celebrating his death.

Times are tough so I'm hitting the street to do some self promotion and offer a little discount.

The american medical system is such a disaster Mitch McConnell's dead body is receiving better healthcare than the people in his state that he's supposed to represent.

Didn't stay and talk to the really cute trans girl at my apartment complex who complemented my look because I was running late to get to work for my appointment that just no-showed 😭

Coworker told me their car has built in seat coolers for the summer and my dumbass blurted out "Oh you got that fancy European bidet-c"

Hashtag Free Willy!