Spent the day yomping up and down fells. Absolutely starving. Might have to rinse some hoops.

Went to see a waterfall. Saw it. Came back.

All I will say about Rod Liddle is that, when his children were small, he was the type of parent who opened packets of food in the supermarket and gave them to his kids, without paying for them.

Drove 250 miles to Leeds as part of our grand tour of the UK. Broke it up with 5hrs at Chatsworth House which is well worth a visit (if you are prepared to put up with 11 million women obsessively posing and reposing in front of marble staircases for that perfect instagram shot).

Just peeled off and replaced the steri-strips and glue on my son’s chin.

Ooh. Exciting moment for cricket scorers when a rare dismissal for obstructing the field can be recorded.

My children have discovered one of those inter-generational shared experiences that are few and far between but retain currency for generations. They’ve found out a cricketer has the surname “Willey”.

Scored a cricket match today. Shade was… limited.

Stewie Griffin Sunburnt: Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!

ALT: Stewie Griffin Sunburnt: Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!

static.klipy.com

Daft child fell off his scooter and landed on his face. Taking his hands away from his chin revealed a deep cut with the adipose layer exposed. Cue the high pitched “everything’s fine we just need to rush to MIU as quickly as we can…” parenting voice which fools no child ever.

The Office Panic

ALT: The Office Panic

static.klipy.com

Thoughts with his friends and family at this sad time.

Sam Billings at the crease. I saw him play once and he was on the receiving end of the oddest sledging I’ve ever heard. “Do you enjoy traditional beer, Sam? Do you enjoy a traditional beer with Ian Duncan Smith?” WTF?!

Southern Brave finishing with a whimper. Beginning to enjoy the Hundred now. Tactics and gameplay are developing as experience grows and it’s bearing fruit.

Saw James Taylor at the O2 last night. Absolutely brilliant.

Reading the Daily Mail and wrapping my wallet in foil to stop “Romanian scammers” from draining my bank account via contactless.

Black Aziz Anansi@blackazizanansi.blacksky.app · 2w ago

What's your old person trait?

Wilf’s last day at primary school tomorrow. From this tiny thing to a giant of a boy who is taller than his mother and Won’t. Stop. Growing. 😭

You should have tried watching it, mate.

Technically speaking his first instruction will be to our nuclear missile submarines in case it all goes south. #pedant

Dirty, dirty gits. Fully deserve every moment of heartbreak.

Cry harder McCallister.

YESSSSSS!

At least England would have had the decency to be absolutely spanked by Spain in 90 minutes.

Scum. Trying to get Cucurella sent off.

Good. About bloody time.

Starting to miss the half time show.

Wayne Rooney’s story arc from precocious footballing teenager to OAP defiling lothario to nervous pundit to national treasure has been quite the journey.

KNIGHT WAYNE ROONEY NOW.

Fewer tone deaf children singing and more shakira jiggling about please. #pervert

Shakira. Still got it.

Alright Justin mate, cheer up.

Well I didn’t have Ronaldo and Ronaldinho driving Madonna around the service tunnels of a sports stadium on my bingo card.