PENIS: THE MOVIE, STARRING ROB SCHNEIDER AS DONALD TRUMP JUNIOR'S UNLIKELY BODY DOUBLE
jackson henry
@jasonemry.bsky.social
my high bowling score is 300 so my opinions pack a certain gravitas
starting a new social app called beesky the stinging sensation is how you know it's working
the show lucky is what it would be like if dicaprio was wearing a huge clown wig through all of catch me if you can
conservatives are literally like "hitler was a decent man" and "fauci is a eugenics monster" in the same brain
the dude literally constantly speaks on behalf of satan and cancer at all times he is choking this country to death
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 7d agoTrump: "Any time you see windmills, you see a failing country"
I was here before you and I'll be pissing tumors on your robo-corpse after the termintor wars don't go how you think they will, buddy
jackson henry@jasonemry.bsky.social · 7d agogoogle asking me to prove I'm not a robot fuck u dude
"Saint Magatard II absolutely LOVED smoking daddy's pole so much that he ERECTED A HUGE HETEROSEXUAL DICK in heaven that he could also smoke."
jackson henry@jasonemry.bsky.social · last wk.if liberals' treatment of dead nazis doesn't scare moderates straight, nazis' treatment of themselves should do the trick
watching the new MK movie playing "How would they eat a sandwich?" with each character
remember that video of trump raining diarrhea on America prophetic
*sucking on a ball gag and watching capitalism get violated so horribly that we feel sorry for it*
jackson henry@jasonemry.bsky.social · last wk.it's like the whole world crashed into that pawn shop in pulp fiction while fighting capitalism and elon musk is the gimp
*stephen miller getting his torso sliced with a sword*
jackson henry@jasonemry.bsky.social · last wk.it's like the whole world crashed into that pawn shop in pulp fiction while fighting capitalism and elon musk is the gimp
it's like the whole world crashed into that pawn shop in pulp fiction while fighting capitalism and elon musk is the gimp
tfw your legs forget how to do 2 steps so you do 2.6 and die instead
got in trouble again for bringing genitals to the build-a-bear
seems racist to always have a japanese person working the sushi counter at kroger but it feels even more racist not to so I get it
“I must away as I am absolutely skeet-addled.” #etymology
*michael scott getting his genitals exploded by a non-violent race of super-intelligent octopi*
jackson henry@jasonemry.bsky.social · 3w agosupercut of the office + arrival
arrival is a love letter to teachers
jackson henry@jasonemry.bsky.social · 3w agosupercut of the office + arrival
how about just "live" the whole "let live" part has sinister overtones
have a guy from the purple party be like "I want solar panels to power my ball scratcher" then the green guy is all "no they should scratch children's balls in school"
jackson henry@jasonemry.bsky.social · 3w agotellin y'all split blue into green and purple parties centrists and nazis can go fly off a cliff somewhere
I don't care how you explain it but I want to see a vikings/the wire crossover extravaganza ryan reynolds get your clown dick pen out and shave just the sides of your beautiful head we're making history
"Five Guys Being Blamed in Mass Diarrhea Event" is now a headline thank you, 2026 you're like a piece of shit dad who remembers our birthday for some reason
I told you fucks soccer was no good and now look at yourselves, relentlessly shitting your pants