My favorite compound plural nouns with postpositive adjectives: Hots dog Flights attendant Peanuts butter Copies machine Bats mitzvah

Do as you’re told. Think as you’re told. Be as you’re told.

You are plastic. You are artificial. You are fake. You Are Mine.

Just finished a meeting in which a guy said “the crotch” of the matter when he meant “the crux” of the matter. One of the best days of My career.

Millennials: I can’t believe my feckless, selfish, emotionally stunted parents have become feckless, selfish, emotionally stunted grandparents to my feckless, selfish, emotionally stunted children.

Beep boop, bro. 🤖

GearEric 🔜 ?@geareric.bsky.social · 2w ago

Confirmed.

You’re a robot.

Your bulge is so big it rounds the corner before the rest of you.

You chatted with Me for an hour and afterward, you spent the next six hours mindlessly muttering the word bulge over and over.

You bought Me a sandwich and I hypnotized you to forget so we can do it again next week.

You chatted with Me for an hour or so. You don't recall exactly what I said to you, but now, you have permanent influencer voice.

You’re not a person. You’re just a rubber bulge with arms and legs and a head.

Bulgemaxx your Locktober with an athletic cup.

I’m up early every day, pulling puppet strings. My best assets realize this and start waking up early to get their daily dose of thought control.

Abolish the juries. Abolish the televote. The winner of Eurovision every year should be whoever's performance is 90% carried by a poorly lit, plus size backing vocalist belting it out from an upstage corner.

Say it with Me, “I am a normal, reasonable person. I don’t have strong opinions about things.”

All thinking is overthinking.

Abolish the juries. Abolish the televote. The winner of Eurovision every year should be whoever does a duet with their mom.

Abolish the juries. Abolish the televote. The winner of Eurovision every year should be whoever does a duet with their dad.

Don’t overthink.

Working on a new training to turn interesting, passionate, creative dudes into NPCs. I am a normal, reasonable person. I keep things simple. I don’t have strong opinions about most things. I like routine. I like things that work. I don’t need to stand out. I just want things to go smoothly.

A: Thanks for listening, Babe. B: Anytime. A: I'm not good at being vulnerable. B: No one likes feeling vulnerable. Especially when it comes to their personal information. That's why I use SurfShark. Shout out to SurfShark for sponsoring tonight's date. A: What? ... B: What?

Someone just treated Me to 5 coffees. Thanks for keeping Me caffeinated. throne.com/jayhypnow...

Anonymous treated Me to 3 coffees. Thanks for keeping Me caffeinated. throne.com/jayhypnow...

Me telling the story of how I met you.

Confession is easier when you're prepared. All assets make mistakes. They disappoint. They let Me down. Good assets develop a system to track and promptly report their transgressions. Coupled assets track and report each other. Fun times all around.

Want to be the perfect boyfriend? Memorize these 21 pre-programmed phrases and be prepared to recite them when I pull the cord between your shoulder blades.

Yesterday, you were independent, single, and lonely. Today, you are in a committed, long-term relationship with someone you’ve just met. Outwardly the perfect couple because I’ve ordered you to be. Chastity cages clacking together in bed. Enjoy your new relationship, assets.

Hypnotized to be so dumb you fetishized churning Calendly in favor of Microsoft Bookings.

"Groundhog Day" but it's always Locktober 31st.