Two weeks ago someone threw an empanada on the ground along the route that my dog gets walked. It has been a point of contention between us. I've explained that it's extremely sketch that no wild animal has touched it. Not even ants. Last weekend it was covered over with snow...

Ok, it's xmas eve where is my rich hottie who decides to give up big city life to settled down with a goth chick who bakes?

The movie Spirited establishrd that the people who aren't visited on Christmas Eve are either too good or too much of a mess, and I don't like worrying about where I fall in that split.

Schnauzer in a scarf

If I could get at least one ghost to drop by tomorrow night and tell me how to fix all my shit that would be awesome!

Merry Cronenberg! Seth Brundle bless us, everyone.

Emily C. Hughes@emilyhughes.bsky.social · 8mo ago

meet me at the pink flamingo xmas tree in 20 mins if u want an ass kicking

I'd have ten cents and I'd be willing to throw it into a pot to pay for a third mf to get clocked.

DollaryyDoos@dollaryydoos.bsky.social · 8mo ago

If I had a nickel for each dickhead getting their arse handed to them in a boxing bout today, I'd have two nickels. That's not enough, more nickels now!

I'm just going into work Tuesday to vibe and eat some pizza.

Greggo 🏳️‍🌈@greggo.bsky.social · 8mo ago

My response to anything over the next two weeks

I'm so glad my mom gives me something to talk about in therapy every week without fail.

Also, no, I do not need a "tour" of your new features.

yaoi gagarin@mel.bzky.team · 8mo ago

it is an outstandingly popular proposal that if a company tries to serve you an ad on a product you paid full price for you should be allowed to have a member of their c-suite hunted by animal of your choice, and yet due to legalized corruption (lobbying) no politician will campaign based on it

If I could get a hug from the muppet ghost of christmas present I'm sure that would heal me.

why are you polyamorous? wrong answers only: Because rent is expensive.

Tiger Lily 🐅 🏳️‍⚧️@tigerlily.northsky.social · 8mo ago

why are you polyamorous? wrong answers only: It was the only thing I could think of to actually get a D&D group that could meet regularly

NJ has a rapid response team if ICE is spotted - 1 888 347-3767 everyone who spots these gestapo needs to call to protect their neighbors www.nj.gov/humanservice...

Office of New Americans

NJ Office of New Americans - Building a stronger and fairer New Jersey where New Americans are fully integrated.

nj.gov

Men will destroy their whole kitchen before buying parchment paper.

If you all don't straighten tf up and fly right we will not be fucking anymore, we will be making love art instead.

hannah gais@hannahgais.bsky.social · 8mo ago

When they say they're massive fucking losers, believe them.

Whaaaaaa! Why won't women date me? Probably because you're a violent misogynistic man baby?

CerberusXt@cerberusxt.bsky.social · 8mo ago

"Everything straight is actually gay" is my favourite kind of ragebait posts by these morons.

I'm just going to say it... I hate Home Alone, what a dumb movie. They treat Kevin like ass, completely forget about him, and then he is the one who feels bad because he wished those assholes away? Yeah fuck that.

I will add to the curse. Jennrasaurushex isn't just a pretty name people!

Hellvetika 🏳️‍⚧️ ⚧@hellvetikaseraph.bsky.social · 8mo ago

A general message carrying the significant weight of a witches curse if ignored.

And who do these Day of the Rope, racists, homophobic, mysogynists think should be hung? I have an idea.

Gil Durán@gilduran.com · 8mo ago

A Palantir billionaire just called for public hangings. “It's time to bring back masculine leadership to protect our most vulnerable,” writes Joe Lonsdale. This is where Silicon Valley authoritarianism is heading: www.thenerdreich.com/joe-lonsdale...

"Your account link failed. Please contact customer service." Thank you but, I would rather chew ground glass. I'll just never play that game again I guess.

LED holiday lights...

a wooden door is open to a room with a blue umbrella hanging on the wall .

Alt: a wooden door is opened by a woman who walks into her apartment and is hit with the force of a million white LED lights

media.tenor.com

And I will definitely talk shit again next year, HOWEVER 23° is also unacceptable.

Jonathan Edward Durham@thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 8mo ago

Okay summer I know I talked a lot of shit when it was 100 degrees but listen

I feel inadequate. I'm dreaming about being a teen again and fucking up high school. This person is creating brand new Muppets in their sleep!

BayBayFriend@baybayfriend.bsky.social · 8mo ago

Dreamed I got a chastising message at work that said, “You should know the names of all the Muppets,” and someone stuck up for me, saying, “I don’t think this one has a name,” and they attached a picture of like a white Gonzo with no eyes

When people are dressed super cute and I can tell they envisioned it and it came together perfectly...I love that!

Ok, chocolate orange stripe biscuits dipped in dark chocolate and ready for work tomorrow. We're doing a dessert fest.

I would really like to play some Dino Crisis and not think about anything other than cool dinosaurs.

I wish I had more boycotts to give! Fuck Target, Home Depot, Starbucks and Amazon.

Josh Sternberg@joshsternberg.com · 8mo ago

Target quietly added ChatGPT in its app last week. www.retailbrew.com/stories/2025...

My sister is staying in my house in Florida and this was chill baby was hanging out in front of the house. I love being back NJ, but I do miss crazy Florida shit like this.

I found the WORST recipe for cookies. Also, I am 💯 at fault because I was so excited about orange chocolate ribbon cookies that I didn't engage higher brain functions and question things like 1/4 olive oil, no eggs, and mixing half the dough in the food processor. I'm pretty sure I can do better.

Ok, just made a pumpkin pie with my nephew and it so sweet I could die... The memory, not the pie haha