Jesse Taylor Lewis
@jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social
Hermit extraordinaire
I did nunchucks once as a kid for two seconds and thought the only person I'm going to hurt with these is me and that was that
Occasionally I imagine one of my big toes flying off like a missile Yup
Needed something light and fun to take my mind off of my rapidly declining mental and physical health after decades of self destruction so I'm watching The Machinist again
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe John Carpenter doesn't want any of the remakes to be good on purpose, so people always go with the OG, and choosing Zack was the long game Hmm
I know Carpenter doesn't give a shit and is just cashing the checks and buying weed but I'm still disappointed that he didn't even try to get one of the many good directors out there who'd love a crack at New York and allowed Ayn Rand loving dumbfuck Zack Snyder to get the job, assuring its failure
The real Jesse may or may not be somewhere under Reno with the bunnies
Twirling my mustache as my neighbors do rails
The 8th natural wonder of the world was Abe Vigoda's eyebrows
I wonder how many people go into dentistry 100% for the drugs I'm going with 69%
Can't, getting ready to attend my Knuckle Crackers Anonymous meeting (cracking sounds)
The first rule of rule club is coming up with a rule
My super depressing post punk\new wave song on that soundtrack is called Toy Division
Maybe the crows are literally talking shit, "caca, caca", you don't know
I'm so high I'm tripping over lights fantastically Ouch!!!
When people say Brain Worm Jr is ending certain vaccine research or anything in America "forever" that's giving that barely sentient bucket of inhuman scum WAY more power than he actually has
My non satire posts are the biggest satires of all my posts
I have the projectile vomit capabilities of a much younger man
Those over weeded gummies I was given are like One A Day for weed, and there's like 500+ in there, so getting high isn't something I have to worry about for the rest of the year, one before my shower and by the time I'm out I'm not in Kansas anymore
I wonder what Humphrey Bogart's friends called him Hump or Bog
In another timeline I'm a famous elbow model
Sticker entropy really only begins once it is stuck
I bet you have to be extremely patient doing customer service for Jitterbug
Doing my part (going to hotels and replacing all the Do Not Disturb signs with ones that say Makin' Mac & Cheese)
Going back in time to give all the 90's baggy panted skaters a bumper sticker that says "REAL Skaters Wear Short Shorts"
The worst thing about climate change is I'm starting to understand the appeal of sleeveless shirts