John Patrick Nelson
@johnpatricknelson.bsky.social
Chopper. Scribe. Proper villain. Editor of your favorite reality show www.johnpatricknelson.com
Yo, fam, if’n ye wants a new story from me diseased brain, look no further than rightchere, in the latest ish of “Guilty Crime Story Magazine”: www.amazon.com/Guilty-Crime... Only $2.99 for six stories! Such a deal!
Guilty Crime Story Magazine: Issue 016 - Winter 2026
Guilty Crime Story Magazine: Issue 016 - Winter 2026 - Kindle edition by Barrows, Brandon, Hansen, Vinnie, Clyburn, Ron, Soloway, Jeff, Nelson, John Patrick. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Guilty Crime Story Magazine: Issue 016 - Winter 2026.
amazon.com
1/ Inspired by @jacobharr.is "A Month of Dick 2026," I read the first two chapters of "Moby Dick." I now present the simplified version: Chapter 1 Call me Ishmael. I love sailing. Doesn’t everyone? I need a job.
HAPPY NEW... well, let's move on. For the first flick of 2026, the Johns are wandering into chatty 90s indie film territory with "Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead!" Click below to listen! holdup.simplecast.com/episodes/127...
127 - Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead | The Hold Up
Happy New Year! The Johns watch Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead.
holdup.simplecast.com
Mia Hawke’s parents in Stranger Things should be played by Uma Thurman & Ethan Hawke and they should make a spinoff series post-haste starring all three called “The Hawkes in Hawkins.” I should be paid for life for this idea, and given free entry to all theme parks.
It’s today!! Extra Life, 9:00amPST-?!?! Click here to observe us like a science experiment: Youtube.com/@trevorcarlee And click below to donate: www.extra-life.org/participants...
Extra Life | Change Kids' Health, Change the Future
I'm raising funds with #EXTRALIFE for kids treated at my Children's Miracle Network Hospitals! I need your help to reach my fundraising goal. Please donate today to change kids' health.
extra-life.org
Another @trevorcarlee.bsky.social special, and I’m in it! Don’t blink! And donate here: www.extra-life.org/participants...
Extra Life is almost here! And to celebrate, @trevorcarlee.bsky.social animated us! @extralife4kids.bsky.social
Y’ALL’S. I’m extremely proud of this month’s “Hold Up,” editor/producer Glenn Morgan joins to talk about his 1999 narrative reconstruction of von Stroheim’s “Greed” for Turner Classic Movies, and we wisely brought aboard film historian Ray Morton to interview him! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...
125 - Greed
Podcast Episode · The Hold Up · 11/01/2025 · 2h 3m
podcasts.apple.com
If’n ye like yer horror a lil bit silly… johnpatricknelson.com/blog/anti/
Post Page
Post Description
johnpatricknelson.com
🎼Two more days to Halloween, Silver Shamrock!! 🎶 Until then, you should listen to Craig Sechler read “Creepy Paperback,” a celebration of the 80s horror book glut! johnpatricknelson.substack.com/p/creepy-pap...
"Creepy Paperback" [Craig's Version]
An old favorite, with a new voice!
johnpatricknelson.substack.com
Awwwwwwwshit, my man @trevorcarlee.bsky.social is in AV Club… I KNEW HIM WHEN! DON’T TOUCH HIM! HE’S MINE!!
Great Job, Internet! One of Succession's funniest scenes gets a second life in LEGO
Great Job, Internet! One of Succession's funniest scenes gets a second life in LEGO
avclub.com
F’r all yez don’t dig on the Substack, ye c’n lookit me newsletter here now: johnpatricknelson.com/blog/
Blog
johnpatricknelson.com
Writer/Director Alison Star Locke ( @alisonstarlocke.bsky.social ) joins us for “The Last Man on Earth!”
124 - The Last Man On Earth
Podcast Episode · The Hold Up · 10/01/2025 · 1h 10m
podcasts.apple.com
Now why couldn’t they have school carnival signs like this in my day? Sexy, alluring, the lady second from right, obviously bottomless, hands diving toward her nethers… my school carnival just had LAME handmade signs by children
My wife @alisonstarlocke.bsky.social just made me turn off the lights so she can watch “The Amityville Horror,” and I said, “So you can watch this incredibly scary movie about mortgage fraud?” She also made me post this. But James Brolin is dreamy with that beard and mullet set.
At my 2nd Dodgers game today - first Dodgers game was 30 years ago to the day, Aug 10, 1995, when the Dodgers had to forfeit because the fans threw all their free baseballs on the field. That was the trip we scouted and secured my first apartment in LA - we moved in two weeks later!
Muh newest story, “Whiskey Dick,” is up at All Due Respect! all-due-respect.blogspot.com/2025/08/issu...
Issue 90 -- August 2025
All Due Respect, Crime Fiction, ADRCrimeFiction, Noir, Outlaw, Hardcore
all-due-respect.blogspot.com
We’re 10 years old! Click to listen and celebrate! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...
122 - The Gold Rush
Podcast Episode · The Hold Up · 08/01/2025 · 59m
podcasts.apple.com
For July, we’ve got Jackie Chan’s “Mr. Nice Guy!” Click to listen!
121 - Mr Nice Guy
Podcast Episode · The Hold Up · 07/01/2025 · 59m
podcasts.apple.com
It’s very funny for tech guys to come over from jobs where someone is called the “Chief Imagination Officer” and discover that the Medicare office just wants to process the payments
Mehdi Hasan@mehdirhasan.bsky.social · last yr.“I personally was pretty surprised, actually, at how efficient the government was,” Sahil Lavingia told NPR's Juana Summers.
WHOASHIT I’m a criminal?!?! That makes me sound badass! Also, my new movie, “City of Criminals,” which is a low-key ripoff of “Escape From L.A.,” is available for all movie producers for the low, low cost of seven figures. thehill.com/homenews/sta...
Noem: LA a ‘city of criminals’
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem declared Los Angeles a “city of criminals” while slamming Mayor Karen Bass (D) and California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s (D) handling of ongoing protests agai…
thehill.com
We’re joined again by Josh Lentz (editor, “The Challenge,” “Vanderpump Villa”) and Alison Star Locke @alisonstarlocke.bsky.social (writer/director “The Apology”) for the 80s legend, “The Wraith!” Click below to listen! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...
120 - The Wraith
Podcast Episode · The Hold Up · 06/02/2025 · 1h 2m
podcasts.apple.com
New episode, and we’re gettin political - “The ‘I’ in DEI,” wherein Ali & John have their own thoughts on RFK running his mouth, and the current admin’s ableism. Click below to listen. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
The
Podcast Episode · Sensory Overload · 06/01/2025 · 39m
podcasts.apple.com
Ok; just watched the S7 Black Mirror premiere, and it was so well done, my wife @alisonstarlocke.bsky.social is now so depressed we had to switch to “The Exorcist” to cheer her up. Congratulations (?) @charliebrooker.bsky.social
We’re getting into the “Sister Act!”
118 - Sister Act
Podcast Episode · The Hold Up · 04/17/2025 · 57m
podcasts.apple.com
New story at “Black Cat Weekly” - “Mob Dick!” What if the mafia had their own P.I.? blackcatweekly.com/b/khZ98
Black Cat Weekly #186
This issue, we have an assortment of goodies for the discerning reader, kicking off with 5 mysteries: an original by Steve Liskow (thanks to Acquiring Editor Michael Bracken), a Sherlock Holmes pastic...
blackcatweekly.com