I want a volcano taco.

We should have domesticated squirrels instead of cats.

In the future, do you think conscious AI robots will show clips of old BattleBot matches as evidence at our trials?

Why haven’t I seen announcements about Lea Thompson and Howard the Duck in Doomsday yet?

I miss Quibi

Hot Pockets but coated in Doritos dust.

Ok, everyone. No more soccer for a while.

Wait. The Rip isn’t an action-packed thriller about ripping Pokemon card packs? Dumb.

Pro tip: don’t use your bare fingers to clean out what you think is lint in your laundry room sink. It might turn out to be a mouse carcass and you’ll scream in an unflattering way.

Idea: A pizza. But instead of tomato sauce, it has the sauce from the Volcano Taco

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Look Out. 2026.

I want to live in a house with a conversation pit.

Last night I dreamt that everyone was trying make fun of me, but they were using insults that were kind of compliments. "Get a load of this middle-aged guy with no white hairs"

Call me old fashioned, but I miss physical phone keyboards.

9-year-old was just scream-singing the Darth Vader theme and stomping around upstairs.

Now I know what Dwayne The Rock Johnson felt like in that movie nobody except me watched.

It's honestly so great to see Game Informer up and running again.

Rep. Steven Horsford to Greer: "So the trade representative hasn't spoken to the POTUS about a global reordering of trade, but yet he announced it on a tweet? WTF! Who is in charge? It looks like your boss just pulled the rug out from under you. There is no strategy ... is this market manipulation?"

How do you save a marriage once your spouse finds out you’ve ordered Taco Bell’s Dirty Vanilla Baja Blast?

Why does every successful franchise built around a highly-stylized artistic direction need to become a live action movie?

God I want a volcano taco.

My favorite content genre right now is Italian people reacting to Americans preparing pasta.

I’m sad my kids may never get to experience the Pizza Hut lunch buffet.

It's impossible to own a pair of glasses without sitting on them.

How are you all celebrating Ford Truck Month?

When I was a kid, one of our neighbors spent the day riding a wheelchair off the roof of their house. And then something happened and the wheelchair stayed on the roof for months.

I just saw a PT Cruiser with an anti-theft device attached to the steering wheel.

“There’s no dabbing in disco dancing” - me to my kid just now.

They should have let Weird Al sing with Nirvana. He’s the only one with Nirvana experience on his resume.