Jason Salmon
@jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social
Comedian - Standup Special, Biscuits & Gravity streaming on YouTube. Tour dates - https://punchup.live/jasonsalmon/tickets
I will say The president climbing out of a catering cart, is definitely the closest he’ll ever get to being born again 
Another Weird Week Iran v. a Rand Edition Remains live Summer dates * Aug 1 - Batavia, IL - Comedy Vault * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO - Springfield Comedy Club * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa - Loony Bin * Aug 9 - OKC - Bricktown * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS - Comedy Club of Lawrence * Aug 23 - KC - Comedy Club of KC
I do respect the president being so committed to bombing that he even did it in his correspondents dinner speech.
Another Weird Week ICE Shots & Tariffs Edition Remaining Summer Shows * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa, OK * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence,KS * Aug 23 - KC
Looks can be deceiving See for yourself Live all summer * July 22 - Omaha * July 23 - Des Moines * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS * Aug 23 - KC
Excited to hear the president claim the election he was in charge of was rigged. Then the election he subsequently won was fair And now the election he’s about to lose is gonna be rigged again And how he has to change the structures in place from the fair elections to make things right again
A large part of Lindsay Graham’s legacy is going to be defined by… His close friendship with John McCain …followed immediately by… His close friendship with the man who essentially spit on John McCain’s grave
Any NY Knick fan who saw what the president did to the US World Cup team, has to be thanking the lord above that the NBA Championship is a multi-game series.
This post would get you a bereavement fare from any reputable airline
It’s a rare president who can make FIFA seem more corrupt… Summer Shows * July 17 - NYC * July 22 - Omaha * July 23 - Des Moines * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS * Aug 23 - KC
I get asked a lot if there’s anything I’d credit the president for doing Welp…gotta give him this one… Being able to out-corrupt FIFA is a feat for which he’s uniquely qualified
The GOP’s trick is… When capitalism isn’t working… They’ll blame socialism When it is… They’ll call it communism
Ah the irony of a celebration of this presidency being canceled because of climate change related heat issues…
Another Weird Week Independence Day Edition Happy Fourth & Happy World Cup Go team USA
Ironically, being an Olympian canoeist likely made him more qualified to renovate that pool than the silent movie villain they hired
Breaking news: A grand jury in D.C. has indicted David Hearn, a three-time Olympian, for allegedly vandalizing the newly refurbished Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. More details here:
Sorry to hear about the passing of Victor Willis, front man for the Village People Also also thoughts & prayers to the president who may have just learned the lead singer of YMCA was black
I mean, how do you not order all of these? (as a native Texan, even an extra tortilla is useful)
apparently in texas, paxton’s campaign is dunking on talarico by …giving out free tacos with talarico’s name on them, courtesy of “radical texas dot com”? whose idea was this, lol.
People say the president tells it like it is But when Milli-Vanilli backs out of his event, authenticity might not be his strong suit
Another Weird Week Retreat-y of Versailles Edition Father’s Day Weekend Shows June 19-20 - Detroit June 21 - Cleveland
President says he doesn’t want to be Herbert Hoover But based on current economic trajectory along with his rap sheet… I think Pervert Hoover is a better fit
As a nod to this way worse version of the Obama deal - gotten by a making things way worse for Americans - we should call this the JC POS
Happy Father’s Day - This weekend in Detroit - Father’s Day in Cleveland More June/July Dates: * 6/25 - Orlando * 6/28 - Chester, NY * 7/22 - Omaha * 7/23 - Des Moines * 7/25 - Buffalo * 7/30 - Louisville * 7/31-8/1 - Batavia, IL
Juneteenth during Pride & Hurricane Season might be more than this admin can handle.