It's that time of year when my wife will inevitably send me a candid photo of her wearing a silly costume at the store and I have to confront the reality of being sexually attracted to a hotdog wearing sunglasses

There are 600,000-700,000 people living without a home in the United States. There are over 16 MILLION vacant homes in this country.

she calls me captain cause my dick off the hook

New birthday present has been put together (just missing tiny decals). Should I leave him Open or Closed?

My thoughts to those of you who have had a laptop with an internal disc reader 🙏🏼

If my wife surprised me with a soapy tiddy Pic, it would take everything in me not to respond "now a silly one"

It's Spooky season, I sure hope my wife doesn't scare me with a pic of her ass 😰

Ladies of bluesky: when you pee, do you pull your whole dick and balls out? Or just the peeper?

Straight guy hot take in short format, regarding this Rape University problem. My problem is not even the divisiveness of the content, nor to take away from the strength of all victims. My problem is that the solution has not been measured equally to the problem. (1/)

You should be able to flag an image on here if it contains an IPA

There have been over 1200 cases of SA reported from Rape University (used to be Cornell), from 2018-2024. That's a case of Sexual Assault at least every other day.

"Accidentally" texting my wife "Mommy" and then immediately following it up with "Mommy?" which I then follow up with "MA'AM*" Some of y'all still playing checkers

Clever Cat Plays Chess

Alt: Cat Playing Chess

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Happy Holidays to all who celebrate

Mean Girls: It's October 3rd

Alt: Mean Girls: It's October 3rd

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Started calling my racist coworker "Skim Milk" and he hates it so much

Check your local Hobby Lobby for insane deals like these. All minis are 40% off sticker, so these are all around $40

And while we're on the subject, no I do not watch professional sports. Because I don't support rape culture.

1 of the 57 people in the group chat shared the screenshots with the victim that were used in the case for the Rape University victim. That 1 act saved her entire case, but that does not mean he isn't just as guilty as the other 56 members. For reference, I am in 0 group chats discussing rape.

Nobody gives $20k and a burn-after-reading list of billionaires' names anymore

The lion doesn't concern itself with drinking and driving But a Tiger Wood

Tiger Woods Celebrates Victory

Alt: Tiger Woods Celebrates Victory

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She shakes on my speare because mi bic a pentameter

Imagine being President Trump. And you discover that a senior cabinet member is leaking confidential information to the press. In response to this, you use all your political power to attack the press and in response to that, they reveal that the leaker is none other than your vice president. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Call me Willy Wonka the way my kids go missing in her chocolate factory

The dominant in me would never say don't come for me.

Reality check: If you were born before December 3, 1992, congratulations You are older than text messaging.

My algorithm is just cat videos and dudes that work at pizza joints flinging dough to the Rumbling by SiM

Just overheard a coworker ask, "do you wash your legs in the shower?"

Lindsay Clancy Update, and this isn't an opinion, this is irrefutable from her Defense attorney: a particular juror "has made statements acknowledging doubt, but refuses to apply it to the verdict as the law states" AKA a man accepts there's reasonable doubt, but still wants to say she's guilty.