I couldn’t resist any longer

I’m so impressed. We got a new mattress and they reached out to ask how we like it. My husband said he loves it but my shoulder hurts a bit Well today a very nice mattress topper arrived with a note saying to give it a try and if my shoulder still hurts they can send a different mattress 🤯

I finally watched Project Hail Mary and texted my Dad that he would like it and he said he isn’t really into Catholic movies

“There was this party and they were all rich and sucking up cocaine. Then there was this guy watching a movie by himself and looked at another guy. I know it was a gay thing but they didn’t get together. Then there was a girl who wanted to get laid” -my Grandma describing The Shards

I am massively craving the fennel salad from Tortello, why is it so far!?

I wish there was a Chicago flag emoji for that flag post thing, because my Dad, Grandma and great Grandpa were all born in Belmont Cragin and I think that is pretty nifty

My friend seems to have stumbled on a new strategy to get me to come to things, she just buys me a ticket and my crazy brain can’t make her feel bad so I go. She has turned my anxiety into motivation!

Another Star Trek joke flop last night Straight friend: women shouldn’t wear anything! Me: oh so you’re a Ferengi? Feeemales Him: I’m so sorry bud, what is that from?

Jonathan Zoia@jzoia.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Just remembered when I made a Borg joke at a party this weekend and literally 0 people got it

There is drama this morning. I don’t know what is happening but this hawk and this raven have beef I’m on the hawk’s side. The raven seems to be doing too much

It’s pretty hard to argue with the graffiti that says “white people lie and steal land“ when you are standing in Indian Boundary Park 

I am currently at a local cafe and the daycare down the street has their kids here practicing their restaurant etiquette and these kids are amazing! I am blown away by the whole exercise

I’m spent $150 on a stupid pillow because I sleep in a crazy position that hurts my neck and I hate the pillow more than I ever thought possible

Did I go outside to dance in the rain because I am whimsical or did the downspouts clog? Did I strip down on the front porch because I am a free spirit or am I just too practical to track water inside?

Me: 🎶 I want to get away! I want to fly awayyy 🎶 Husband: Mute R. Kelly! Me: are you fucking serious!?

Me: I’m handling life so maturely lately Me an hour later: I am having Cinnamon Life when I get home because my dinner at that restaurant was yucky

Step-FIL: Oh what does she do? MIL: Hand jobs! Me: Yeah! A lot of hand jobs Husband: she is a hand rehabilitation therapist Total buzzkill 😂

Does anyone get obsessed with specific words for a while? Currently mine is fuckwit Example from today “tell him the guy who sent him a breakup message on Scruff is a fuckwit”

When I say I grew up in a castle:

Just paused the Heartstopper movie halfway through to grab some snacks and hydrate, I’ve never been so weepy in my life

My husband’s work wife texted me that she gave him an early birthday gift, but that it is really for me, which is frankly a trend I could get behind Friday’s particular festivities seem like the perfect day to show you all what she gave us (me)

When you get an email written by AI

GIF Miss Teen USA Pageant: Infamous Education Speech

Alt: GIF Miss Teen USA Pageant: Infamous Education Speech

static.klipy.com

I am randomly embarrassed 35 years later remembering when I was a kid that my mom told me “Bless your heart” was short for “Bless your heart, you poor fool” So our Pastor came over and said “well bless your heart” and I yelled “you poor fool!” at him

Me around the house 🎶 Good neeeews, she’s deaaaad! 🎶

Back to my nosy open housing and saw a house where the mom converted both the other upstairs bedrooms, one to an office, the other to closet with an island and displays for her designer bags Her little girls had bedrooms in the basement and the list of rules posted in every room was quite extensive

I think the music from Vampire Lestat is supposed to be bad, but I kind of like it?

I like getting the mail from the mailbox, but I hate opening the envelopes so I lay them on the entry table. This is a source of great tension in our house

Never in the history of world has a dog liked going to the vet so much

My niece just wrote a postcard home from camp and said the girls in her cabin are “white, basic, and unathletic”

I was targeted with an ad for this, no idea why, but it made me laugh, especially this part of the description: “has a super light viscosity and texture, which increases decorator productivity by eliminating normal ergonomic strain”

This is fascinating and also I relate to Deep Tunnel on a deep level

Chicago Sun-Times@chicago.suntimes.com · last mo.

The massive system of tunnels and reservoirs was built to contain Chicago’s flood water. After more than 8 inches of rain over the past 30 days, the system is nearing capacity.