My wife said good night, and I said Sir Gallahad, and now she's mad at me.
Machine Pun Kelly
@kellyscaletta.bsky.social
America's Number One Punned-It. Lifelong Dem. Left my account on Twitter for Bluer Skies. I follow back, but sometimes it takes time. YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KellyScaletta Check out my Whiteboard videos and the Pun Show!
@abc7.bsky.social @news.abc.net.au @cnn.com @foxnews.com.web.brid.gy @newsmax.com @bloomberg.com @cbsnews.com @60minutes.bsky.social @cnbc.com @nbcnews.com @newsweek.com @nytimes.com @nypost.com @washingtonpost.com Y'all still report the news? Maybe ask Pete Kegsbreath what happened...
Hoodlum 🇺🇸@nothoodlum.bsky.social · 19h agoA civilian medical plane went down after an experimental US military GPS jamming test reportedly disrupted its radar. Every person aboard lost their life. www.yahoo.com/news/us/arti...
Max Miller should serve in Prison, not in Congress.
The guy who pardons money launderers also launders money? I haven't been this shocked since that big ball of fire appeared in the sky this morning.
Join the Pun Show as I talk about how much Todd Blanche sucks! youtube.com/live/6RCvkBz...
The Pun Show: Todd Blanche Sucks
YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly
youtube.com
The only person in Texas who likes Ken Paxton is Ted Cruz, and Ted Cruz only likes Paxton becuase Paxton is the only reason Ted Cruz isn't the most despised man in Texas.
A brief, recent history, according to MAGA (Satire). youtu.be/43aUxhLGBMY
A Recent History of America According to MAGA #satire
YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly
youtu.be
Let's play word association. I'll say 2 words, and you say the next 2 words that come to mind. "Release the _____"
With J6ers getting jobs in the justice department, and presidential memorandum NSPM-7 targeting the “left-wing” and “anti-fascists” as terrorists, it's never been more important to support those tracking the far right.
If you kept POWs in these conditions, it would be a war crime. And they are treating children like this.
Snagz@snagzwontdie.bsky.social · 2d agoFuck ICE, and GEO Group (they run these warehouses that turned into death camps). This IS NOT potable water, by any stretch. Even if I had captives to interrogate (in the army) - no way I would give them that crap. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...
Today in Yummy: Gizzards and Grain Stew! An MPK original recipe.
I'm getting good at this. Near-perfect loaves every time. Anyone want a slice?
Hard to keep track of the number of times he's declared victory in his illegal war-of-choice. #86-47
I invented a new recipe! I call these "Everest Cookie Pies." They are butterscotch cookies with a butterscotch pudding filling, and then coated in a butterscotch candy coating. Butterscotch made from actual butter is an entirely different ballgame. Takes about an hour of work to make these.
I was going to go vegan, but my wife doesn't like it when I cut the cheese.
I turned 59 today. More fit than I've been in a long time. I'm pretty proud of me. Down 80 pounds from my fattest days five years ago.
How have we not started referring to him as Mitch McGONEll? Seems like a missed opportunity.
Pun Show starting now! Does MAGA still have a Fauci Ouchie? youtube.com/live/SqD6pia...
The Pun Show: At Last, it's Friday
YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly
youtube.com
Join me for today's episode of the Pun Show! youtube.com/live/2OKZWVn...
The Pun Show: A Sharp Take on Trump’s Revenge
YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly
youtube.com
After today's shameful display of medical McCarthyism, imagine the next pandemic. Imagine that world's foremost expert on infectious diseases considering jumping in to help millions of people. We are in a deeply dark and disturbing place for the future of science. And for the future, period.
Chicken lasagna in a white sauce. Topped with fresh basil from the garden. My face hole loves me.
Today on the Pun Show, we talk about Trump's revenge and how it's going. youtube.com/live/uJ3IU7J...
The Pun Show: A Sharp Take on Trump’s Revenge
YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly
youtube.com