I am a writer of the words & sentences (some funny). I’ve done most things: written gags, speeches, scripts, TV ads - if you require such an individual, then I am that person. Website (here) www.mathew-owen.co.uk any RTs (or whatever they’re called on here) gratefully received. Cheers👍👍

Mathew Owen | Speech Writer | Manchester

Bespoke wedding speeches from a professional comedy writer.

mathew-owen.co.uk

Dr Mo. Ostendpussy. Never Say N'est-ce pas Again... #BondHerculeBond

Mutable Joe@mutablejoe.bsky.social · 2d ago

somewhere in a TV production there's a scrap of paper with "poirot but bond" scrawled on it and it's rolled up into a tube leaking white powder into the bathroom bin

Maisie put her most vehement case to Julie for voting Albert out while behind the fake wall, the Traitor quietly listened. #GirlsOwnCC

Girl’s Own advice@girlsown.bsky.social · 3d ago

Enjoy this Sunday’s caption contest! Give away lots of ❤️s, please repost to encourage more competitors, and include #GirlsOwnCC

And that other pair can fuck off five hundred miles and then fuck off five hundred more.

Instagram always throws patterns of things at me, as I'm sure it does for everyone. At the moment, there is a dire and immediate paranoia, about the state of the world, in the stuff it is showing me. Could do without that shit.

Can't get the photo to adjust but it's there in full on the post. 🙂

Ken Armstrong@kenarmstrong.bsky.social · 3d ago

This week's blog post says a little more about our upcoming play.

Found a two and a half hour abridged audio versions of Smiley's People, brilliantly read by the Author. Just fiinshed it. Thought it was a marvellous way to revisit the story after many years.

I mean, if you really feel the need to make noise to be heard, couldn't you make a better noise?

Sorry to be simplistic but why can't we just live and let live?

This week's blog post says a little more about our upcoming play.

A Little Bit More About the Play - Achill Sound

kenwriting.com

Bringing some very nice books to the charity shop. I have too many. Goodbye, babies.

In case you're not aware and live within five miles of Castlebar... maybe ten.

Ken Armstrong@kenarmstrong.bsky.social · last mo.

I've got a play coming up.

Trying for 'Blue Steel' but mostly giving 'Mildly Constipated'. Tickets going nicely, thank you. 🙂

World premiere of Achill Sound to take place at Mayo arts centre | Connaught Telegraph

Following on from their sold-out shows over the past number of years in the Linenhall Arts Centre, the Castlebar Musical and Dramatic Society (CMDS), in association with Big Splash Productions, return...

con-telegraph.ie

My vote for most annoying foley work, the footsteps in 'Anne of the Thousand Days.'

Constance resolved that she would not venture unarmed into the portal that Maisie had discovered behind the Turner. #GirlsOwnCC

Girl’s Own advice@girlsown.bsky.social · last wk.

Enjoy this Sunday’s caption contest! Give away lots of ❤️s, please repost to encourage more competitors, and include #GirlsOwnCC

This week's blog post is all about my new play.

This week's blog post is all about my new play.

Shuffle punched by an archetypal slow-set song. Shampoo smell, hands on waist, foreheads touch gently as the beat drops...

Kenny Rogers, Sheena Easton - We've Got Tonight (Audio)

YouTube video by KennyRogersVEVO

youtube.com

Grumpy. Best not talk to me. I'll whittle you into kindlin'.

In 1970's CB parlance; not many people on tonight.

Make a band edible Orchestral Manouvres in the Moussaka.

H is the best of everything. Engage. Enjoy.

Halo@eatmyhalo.bsky.social · 2w ago

*gulp* So.. I decided to try selling my daft arty bits, on eBay first. I’ve cut work hours for MH reasons, so I’m trying to build a tiny side thing doing something I love. A quick peek, or a repost would be so appreciated. Squitting myself, I’ve never done anything like this 😱 👉 ebay.io/m/A3E8wB

So I record the Gauff Rybakina on Sky Sports (I get it for tennis then cancel it) and the recording ends before the match is over. Then they show an interview in the middle with the winner and loser of the other semi, which I hadn't yet watched. What do we have to do, sit up all fucking night?

Twenty five years today, I had me first ever table read of a play of mine. Never opened a script. We sat and the table and talked for a while and then we went home.

Yes, i was going to come to your thing but then you did an AI poster and I figure if you can't be arsed then I can't be arsed either.

Mellor's rudientary understanding of the Pythagorean Theorem, combined with the rising tide, suggested that his mast would no longer fit under the bridge but how to break this to Miss Emily? #GirlsOwnCC

Girl’s Own advice@girlsown.bsky.social · 2w ago

Enjoy this Sunday’s caption contest! Give away lots of ❤️s, please repost to encourage more competitors, and include #GirlsOwnCC

Just erased a good draft post cos, like, what's the point?

I had to back away from the 4 for 3 catfood offer in Tesco because the maths became too complex.

It sounds like it's all kicking off in Spartacus up in the living room.

Take your coloured jackets and your guzzled pints of best bitter and fuck right off.