If Jared Fogle had traveled to Epstein Island instead of Southeast Asia, he’d still be walking the streets.

Trump: Look at it! Algae and scum, filthy & smelly. Overall, a horrible job! How can something be so awful? Trump aide: Well sir, it’s called a reflecting pool for a reason.

If you don't need to show a photo ID to kick in someone's front door, smash their car windows, grab them off the street, take them from their places of work and/or worship, I shouldn't have to show a photo ID to vote.

Uh-Oh He pissed of Barbra Streisand #svengoolie

It always comes back to mother issues #svengoolie

Is that Judy Carne? #svengoolie

Like that great detective once said “Once you’ve killed all of the non-vampires, whoever remains, however improbable, must be the vampire.” #svengoolie

We must hurry! I can’t be late for my audition to be the lead singer of the Paul Revere and the Raiders cover band! #Svengoolie

I saw a clip of Ariana Grande dancing and sat in wonder at the great Ray Harryhausen. #svengoolie

I’ll be first in line at the Spirit Halloween Store the day it opens, so I can special order my “Googly-Eyed Kremlin Bitch” mask in time for Halloween. Anyone need a never worn pink Mitch McConnell shirt?

Be polite when you step up to the counter and order your banana split #IncludeSplitStepPolite

Coming soon to a Sunday night near you. “I’m Rob Schneider. I’m Kevin Sorbo. I’m James Woods. I’m Scott Baio. I’m Dean Cain. And I’m Rosanne Barr…Those stories and more, tonight on 60 Minutes.”

JK Rowling didn’t use her first name (Joanne) because it was thought young boys wouldn’t read books written by a woman. She has an adult series of mysteries she writes under the name Robert Galbraith. Pretty interesting choices for a woman who has so much trouble with gender identity.

I hope England gets the Tate brothers on a plane and out of the country before Trump can block the extradition.

#svengoolie We are staying in a place with no tv service (over the air or cable) How can we watch the show tonight?

Kash Patel had to cancel a trip to go see his girlfriend perform at a county fair. He was recalled by none other than the president. He never said what the crisis was. Then Lindsay Graham died from a "sudden" illness. Now this...

The fake "proof of life" photo of Mitch McConnell looks like Stuart from Big Bang Theory after a couple of rough days.

Marsha Blackburn is running for Gov of Tenn. In her tv ad, she rants about “communist China” buying up hundreds of acres of Tenn farmland. The restaurant she’s in, isn’t a Chinese restaurant, but that’s irrelevant when you’re a racist POS who thinks all Asian people are automatically “Chinese” 1/2

The U.S. has “brief and sudden illness”. Russia has open, 10 story windows. What does your country have?

The US needs more international events to be held here. Not because I think the US is better or deserves it more than any other country, but the World Cup shows the rest of the world that when our politicians aren’t involved, most of us are warm, friendly and giving to foreign visitors.

#svengoolie is that what Steve Martin meant by “Let’s get small”?

#svengoolie “Good thing we but our toilet paper at the warehouse club”

#svengoolie the guys in this movie make Burt Ward’s Dick Grayson look butch in comparison

#svengoolie how did Tom Servo get down in the basement?

#svengoolie You have to just know that the guy singer at the fountain went home alone

#svengoolie Music by The Beau Brummels, featuring Howard Wolowitz on drums

#svengoolie How about a village double feature? “Village of the Damned Giants” Soundtrack by the Village People

I’m not saying Mitch McConnell has shuffled off this mortal coil, but at midnight he’s scheduled for a twenty minute conversation with Ebenezer Scrooge.