KDOG

@khaosdog.bsky.social

traditional artist • nature photographer • wanderer of the wild • friend of the earth • starseeker • stormdriven soul • healthdisaster • they/them Living a simple life in a trailer on a ranch when not exploring the world. https://ko-fi.com/kdog

Again so many days lost because life just dragged me down and I could not take care of convention preparations. And no, unfortunately it wasn't just the problem with the calendar delivery. A whole series of things piled up, leaving me feeling helpless, overwhelmed, full of self-doubt and lonely.

Graphite pencil drawing of a distressed white mutant canine lying curled up with a paw over its head.

I had planned to ship out all calendar orders tomorrow, but unfortunately there will be a delay because FedEx is throwing a wrench into my plans. I didn't realize my printing company was shipping with FedEx, as their website stated DHL. Otherwise, I would have asked them to use a different carrier.

I think after EF, I need to treat myself to something nice. Maybe a trip to the sea. I don't want to be home alone on my bday anyway, so that'll probably be a good idea for last week of August. Or maybe I'll drive to Frankfurt & visit the Senckenberg Museum. It's been a while since I've been there.

I'm currently doing nothing besides working on stuff for EF, taking care of the horses, sleeping and when I remember, eating. Though it's pretty normal four weeks before the con, this year it feels especially extreme? Or maybe it just feels that way because I'm constantly so damn tired.

Close-up of a pink and white honeysuckle flower in bloom with a soft green blurred background.

I always wanted to paint a larger version of the white wolf with the lantern because so many people asked for prints. The original was just a tiny postcard-sized miniature, so making prints simply wasn't possible.

Painting of a white wolf with a glowing lantern, surrounded by watercolor palettes, paint tubes, colored pencils and art supplies on a wooden desk.

Gosh, I've lost so much muscle mass over the past few years because I've spent so many periods practically bedbound and unable to train the way I used to. I really hope I'll get back to a point where I can at least enjoy longer hikes again and do some strength training.

Last week has been hell. The kind of hell where you don't even want to be on this plane of existence. Nonstop intrusive thoughts, depression, full body pain, fatigue and migraines. Plus narcoleptic phases where I just collapsed. I am in a really bad flare and still not through, but...

Close-up of colorful lilies in bloom, with a cozy garden trailer softly blurred in the background.

After a crash last week and several days stuck in bed most of the day, my mood has hit a really low point. I don't even have any streaming to distract myself anymore. I think I desperately need to get more audiobooks, because lying here doing nothing but staring at the walls really isn't helping.

My lilies which I can see from my bed.

It was 37°C inside my home when I got back yesterday evening. I ended up sleeping in my garden until a thunderstorm rolled through and finally cooled everything down.

Moon glowing through a gap in the tree canopy at dusk, framed by dark silhouetted branches.