‘Now My Breasts Are Over Here,’ Announces Sydney Sweeney Peeking Out From Oak Tree https://theonion.com/now-my-breasts-are-over-here-announces-sydney-sweeney-peeking-out-from-oak-tree/

living the good life about to watch some tv

so true

I wrote 3 letters today on the clock...no one is here for dinner ... nabbed a snack from chef

I love a cultural exchange, oh chef u haven't heard hold music before? oh yeah it suckkks

Poll: Majority Of Americans Still Go Bonkers For Amber Waves Of Grain https://theonion.com/poll-majority-of-americans-still-go-bonkers-for-amber-waves-of-grain/

I love my pile I love that people become more generous when they see me hauling ass I love telling them it's two 23yr olds running the entire operation I love the horror on their faces

rainy day :) yay watching the rain

check it

every day I get new and unique tips

goodnight america

did u know all great restaurants are run by one high functioning alcoholic and one high functioning stoner

good morning america breakfast #2

acquired mystery vegetable, what will it taste like, what fun

eggs, peeled

that big of the apple that kinda tastes like dirt n bugs

everyone say hi to seal

recent misc

ain't no one peeling this many eggs before noon like I b

everyday I wake up and I think oh boy I can't wait to have soup at work and then I go to work set up and make soup

Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt https://theonion.com/mr-autumn-man-walking-down-street-with-cup-of-coffee-1819574012/

My doggy

Mascot Doing Fentanyl Fold

go cubs gooooo

The Onion@theonion.com · last mo.

Pitcher Clearly Ate Rosin Bag

Biologists Announce There Absolutely Nothing We Can Learn From Clams https://theonion.com/biologists-announce-there-absolutely-nothing-we-can-learn-from-clams/

Halloween....

can u tell I'm thinking about mff .. second one inspired by sour patch kids besties