Well well well, it seems my ancient nemesis, The Gore Tongs Fissure Man, refuses to die. He will rue the day, of that you can be certain!
THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM. THIS IS ONLY A TEST: Wubba wubba wubba. I'm in trubba trubba trubba. THIS WAS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM. IF THIS HAD BEEN AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY, ADDITIONAL INFORMATION WOULD HAVE BEEN PROVIDED TO YOU. THIS WAS ONLY A TEST.
Reginald McDeginald Major McSneeze Gribbness Birdily The McNugganettes The Fried Guys The Handburglar They all seemed so fun in your childhood. But when you eat them now, they just don't taste the same.
So certain Capital One banks are now called Capital One Café, and there's space in them where you can get coffee and sandwiches and hang out if hanging out in a bank sounds fun to you. Anyway, they were giving away these terribly designed cookies that also look like gravestones for no reason.
My name ain't nasty. It's Jackson. Miss Janet if you're baby.
Johnny Depp is Elijah Wood as Danny DeVito as The Penguin in Ebenezer. Watch Johnny Depp get sucked into a bed again, just like he did in Nightmare on Elm Street. This Christmas, you will believe a movie studio can say, "Much meta. Such Christmas. Wow."
My favorite animated film of all time, which has been completely unavailable in any US media for the past 30 years, has been recently remastered and is going to be screening at IFC Center in August. I am super looking forward to going to see it on a big screen. www.ifccenter.com/films/gandah...
IFC Center - Gandahar
An entire civilization must confront its destiny in alternative-animation pioneer René Laloux’s final feature, a cult classic of mind-bending science fiction. In a distant world, a merciless army of a...
ifccenter.com
"Since I was a scumdog, I blew a cum-wad, I need a motherfucking suckadickalickalong." GWAR - The Salaminizer
Secret Drug Addict@scrtdrugaddict.bsky.social · 2w ago
I don't know what it is about this site lately, but it literally hurts my eyes to scroll through bluesky now. It's like eye strain and also a literal stinging sensation. Anybody else experiencing this, or do I just have old man eyes now?
You could really be a Beau Brummel baby. Like, seriously. I mean it. You look just like someone who would named Beau Brummel, but in baby form. This is not a compliment.
I actually saw people out jogging in the smokey air today. Maniacs.
Sure, everyone's on Charlie Brown's side when Lucy pulls away the football. But what if we replaced the football with a puppy? NOW who's the asshole?
It should be illegal for soldiers to jack off. Save up all that sweet sweet pent up jism aggression. If any soldier is caught wankin' it, welcome to court martial town, dumbass.
Tell ya what, I'm just gonna avoid getting that explosive diarrhea by rinsing any diarrhea off my vegetables BEFORE I eat them.
In addition to testosterone, they should also start pumping soldiers full of other stuff like meth, cocaine, anabolic steroids, maybe some hallucinogenic drugs too, really try to create a Jacob's Ladder situation if possible.
Don't ever get addicted to or become reliant upon anything that exists on the Internet, because eventually a monstrous company you hate will buy that thing and ruin it. Oh, this also applies to everything in the real world too.
Good point, inspirational poster. But, hear me out: What if the kimchi also contains nanoplastics? Check. Mate.
The only way to get over a man's heart is to get under a different man's stomach.
What if, instead of a hallucination, you had a Hell-lucination? Whoa.
OK, hear me out. This 4th of July, instead of doing so many drogas that we test the limits of our functional insanity and have hallucinations, why don't we do so much yoga that we stretch our ligaments' and muscles' flexibility and have a hell of a loose nation???
My wife and I just came up with a new hit character: WORKOUT DRACULA "I must puuuump you uuuup, bleah!"