Sent to my group chat for memes about long-form narrative poetry (the epic meme chat)
Chris
@kodiak.app
@kodi I'm told I'll seem more like a real person if I put something here And that will make it less likely that I'll get blocked But then I think about how strong the desire not to be perceived is And I wonder why I'd want to avoid being blocked
MCDONALD'S: If you don't want to pay $15 a person, you should use our app for deals and discounts! ALSO MCDONALD'S: did you know that we pick a random time to cut off app breakfast orders every day? It's 5 minutes earlier than normal, today!
Could Quetzalcoatlus soar for days? Could it fly at all?
G. Willow Wilson@gwillow.me · 6d agoWhat's your personal great white whale of an unsolved mystery? The thing you desperately hope is solved before you die because you need to know the answer? Mine is the Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum heist. Where the hell are the Rembrandts. I need the full story
No professional accomplishment has ever made me happier than this. theonion.com/translator-o...
Translator Of Original ‘Minions’ Epic Poem Slams ‘Sexless, Bloodless’ Film Adaptation
PHILADELPHIA—In a 4,500-word essay published in Harper’s Magazine, Emily Wilson, known for her popular translation of the Minions epic poem, blasted the latest film Thursday as a “sexless, bloodless” ...
theonion.com
The use of the "eyes" emoji to mean "I have seen this message and will respond later" has always creeped me out, because... eyes. Fortunately, we use Teams, which for some reason has a howling werewolf emoji. So I've started using that, instead. So far exactly one person has asked what it means.
So obviously if you're team coin flip, what you should do is try to find someone *else* who's about to take the $50k, and offer to give them $100k for half of the million if they win it. They come out ahead, you coming out ahead. Win-win.
There are so many great answers in the thread and quotes but for me it's Hale Appleman as scruffy Eliot.
Dawn@502eire.bsky.social · 2w agothere is a recurring prompt around what’s the best that anyone has ever looked on camera and I never have an answer but I’m watching right now and I think it’s gotta be George Clooney in Ocean’s 11
I really didn't think I had anything, but then I remembered the time a major insurance company got scammed into paying a company to set up a private website that would track their "investigations" into thousands of plaintiffs, at $1000 per plaintiff, and I got them out of paying for most of it...
Gail Simone@gailsimone.bsky.social · 2w agoOkay, my QUESTION OF THE DAY is… What is your weirdest actual accomplishment? Not the biggest necessarily…but the weirdest?
You know who has a similar build to the guy you like to make fun of for being a tall fat guy? My sweet husband. The guy who made me dinner and *brought it to dance at the end of class* so I could eat before going to the grocery store, because he knew I wanted to go but would be hungry.
Hillary Monahan@hillarymonahan.bsky.social · 2w agoPerpetual reminder that making fun of "bad" fat people means that "good" fat people are one infraction away from you being an asshole at them about their bodies and it is completely at your whim and mercy. It's not a good look.
And if he ever suffered, it was me who did his crying.
Secret Drug Addict@scrtdrugaddict.bsky.social · 2w ago
muting this, you can all go to hell
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness.
Skelekate@skelekate.bsky.social · 3w agoStop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness.
It was one of ALL THAT JAZZ, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP, or CONAN THE BARBARIAN.
Patrick Klepek@patrickklepek.bsky.social · 3w agoDo you remember what *your* first R-rated movie was? I finally asked my mom (I couldn't remember), and she told me it was The Lost Boys when I was roughly the same age as my daughter (about 9). The movie traumatized her more than it did me, apparently
That's actually really easy, because I saw Double Jeopardy in theaters, and it's the only movie I can think of where the premise itself was so flawed that the movie was unredeemable.
Defector@defector.com · 3w agoWhat's the worst movie you've ever watched in a theater? defector.com/whats-the-wo...
A young girl, injured while working as a day laborer, spends the entire movie in a hospital recovering. Starring Lee Pace.
Peter Lucier@peterlucier.bsky.social · 3w agoThe itinerary for the boys’ trip to Holland may have been overly ambitious. Starring Sean Connery
My dumbest pet peeve is how much I hate the use of "metric ton" to mean "a vague, large amount." If you're being vague, a ton is basically the same as a metric ton.
Teach You a Lesson on Netflix is a very weird show but Kim Mu-yeol is relentlessly charismatic and I hope we get to see him in something I can actually recommend.
The foundational texts of my morality are mysterious and varied! Today I think back to the lesson learned from They Might be Giants : "can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding." Since 1990, I have worked to live my life such that no one named John would have cause to say that to me.
"And so you can be concerned and fight the good fight, and you can also put a record on and love the Cramps."
Anna Merlan @annamerlan.bsky.social · 4w agoEvery so often I get to think of something that is not awful. I interviewed Henry freaking Rollins about his quest with Ian MacKaye and a few other schemers to revive Vengeance Records, The Cramps’ record label: www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
Sauerkraut, Thousand Island dressing, and shredded Swiss cheese.
The Imminence Of A Revelation Which Does Not Occur@nataliereed84.bsky.social · 4w agoquote post with thy preferred hot dog toppings so that thou may be judged by thy peers
Every time this question comes up, I pull up the list of companions just to be sure the answer hasn't changed, and yup, it's still Liz Shaw.
Michael Broussard@michaelbroussard.myatproto.social · 4w agoQTP with your favorite #DoctorWho companion, Classic or NuWho.
"You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel, If on a winter's night a traveler."
Jodi Pickens 🏳️🌈🖖✨@jodipickens.bsky.social · 4w agoWriting question ✍️ What's the single best opening line from a book, movie, television show, or play that you've ever encountered?
Your last saved celebrity pic is your therapist. (Turns out I do not save a lot of pictures of celebrities!)
Virginia@hatfield.bsky.social · 4w agoYour last saved celebrity pic is your therapist.
It's really important, I think, to reflect on how many people you currently have a negative impression of because they forgot your name after only a few interactions. It's probably 0! That's how most people live! They don't keep any sort of "did this person remember my name" score.
Hypervisible @hypervisible.blacksky.app · 4w agoHe labels the facial recognition as a solution to “the cocktail party problem” where you see someone and don’t remember their name or when you met. Awkward? Possibly, but you could just say “I’m sorry I forgot your name” and it doesn’t require the panopticon.
It's another entire level of irony to see how many people are making the "kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life" joke in response to the 20 Minutes of Mitch.
I am of exactly the age that every single one of my friends would respond "Kaneda!" if I yelled "Tetsuo!" at them.
Anime & Manga News@theanimecaliber.bsky.social · last mo.🚨 “AKIRA” is getting a 4K and IMAX theatrical re-release on September 4, 2026 in the United States and Canada 🎬 • Available in both English sub and English dub
