I like my men like Smashmouth likes their years— they just start coming and they don’t stop coming.
Was invited to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show, asked for the weekend to think about it
“dead” means no longer living and “ded” means you laughed a lot, okay?
Guess I’m gonna have to fuck church so church and state break up
FYC: my boyfriend couldn’t stop watching The Bear while having sex with me.
RIP Cormac McCarthy. You wrote good books. Will continue to call my heaviest flow day Blood Meridian.
Feels a weeee bit intense for a login verification question, no?
OK I’ll just say it: I’m ready for a new celebrity sex scandal.
A friend just told me she had to explain what Ozempic was to her female therapist and I’ve never been more jealous of anyone in my life.