modern dating can encourage people to protect themselves so aggressively that two interested people end up performing indifference 🥲
Leland
@lelo3.bsky.social
I discuss the human experience measured • deeply felt • softly disruptive
You don’t have to close the door on him. You can simply stop being the only person opening it.
He represents the question: “What would have happened if timing, fear, and circumstances had not interfered?” Because that question was never answered, part of you still carries him as unrealized potential rather than a completed relationship.
Fairness does not eliminate scrutiny; it makes scrutiny survivable.
He may have awakened your capacity for deep attraction, shown you what emotional recognition feels like, and revealed the cost of allowing mutual uncertainty to remain unresolved. That would be a real purpose even if the two of you never become partners.
He represents your hope that after everything you have endured, life might finally give you something you do not have to fight into existence—but you will still have to step forward and give it a real chance.
But not every answer can be obtained through reconstruction—especially in love. Sometimes clarity only comes from acting and permitting another person to answer for himself.
The one caution is not to make him carry D’s unfinished story. He may remind you of D, but he deserves to reveal who he is.
Why do men become nervous when the attraction becomes mutually visible.
Sometimes the most memorable thing is simply walking up, smiling, and saying: “Hey, it’s good to see you again.”
So litigation will test your patience. But I do believe that’s it’s important to speak your truth and give encouragement to others.
I need to trust myself that this is worth exploring and to just be vulnerable. I literally have nothing to lose… I do think that deep down inside this is the universe way of making things right. 🎉
I believe in blocking men because you are one step closer to finding your person!
He may be open internally. He may feel the pull. He may remember you. He may soften when he sees you. But he would still have to choose to move past the armor. That is the part that cannot be assumed.
The clean emotional truth is: you may have mattered to him, but mattering to someone is not the same as them being ready to meet you.
The Company We Keep by Alex Elle is a book about tough, honest conversations—the kind that ask us to pause, reflect, and tell ourselves the truth. Recently, I ran into this guy—let’s call him Eric—and later that day, I found myself feeling angry.
I need to trust my intuition more. And I need the universe to give me one more shot 🥰🎈…
“But we all know that shutting down and hardening our hearts doesn’t lead us closer to what we want, but instead pushes us further away from the lives we desire and deserve” - Pg 14
In this life we all go through obstacles and it’s empowering once we own it in the middle of caos. It doesn’t define us it just makes us more resilient.