LepsLair
@lepslair.com
I may be a heart attack survivor, but my jokes are still fire. Married, developer, neurodivergent, ADHD, dyslexic, content creator, and streamer.
An anesthesiologist is a doctor who works in the operating room to delay your pain until you get his bill.
What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog? A hen that lays pooched eggs
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime
Today is hot, so I've removed all my clothes and opened every window... I feel better, though the other bus passengers are quite upset!
I was thinking of starting a diet but right now I have too much on my plate.
I saw someone melting their poop to weld their prints together. That's just brilliant
What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor.
I called my wife and asked her if I should pick up Fish and Chips on my way home, but she just grunted. I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
I went to a smoke shop to find it was replaced by an apparel store. Clothes, but no cigar
My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating things. I was supposed to post this on January 1
What's an Australian kiss? The same thing as a French kiss, only down under!
Tony: How do you spell elephant? Kyle: E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t Tony: That's not how the dictionary spells it Kyle: You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it
There’s a new tavern opening in town called, “The Portabello.” It’s a spores bar!
What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog? An animal that barks at low flying aircraft
My grandmother broke her leg and the doctor put it in a cast and told her she shouldn't walk up stairs. She's getting really good at climbing the drainpipe.
I am betting that Death Stranding 2 and Stellar Blade will be announced for Xbox at TGS
What happened when the Ape won the door prize? He didn't take it - he already had a door
Not to brag, but someone whistled at me today... it was a train, but that still counts