Lethallin (they/them) - hiatus

@lethallin-art.bsky.social

AJ 💜 | 32 | they/them | 🔞NSFW 🔞 | bi-switch-vers | adult content creator | minors fuck off https://lethallin-art.carrd.co/ DM for collab requests Pfp by @brainrotspice

I’ve been debating whether to say anything in regards what’s been going on, because I’m not directly involved, but it’s triggered me to vividly recall one of my sharpest traumas, and I heal best when I share. This will be a long, heavy, and extremely vulnerable thread. 1/28

I really fucking wish that realizing I’m into someone was an exciting feeling, full of possibilities and potential. Instead, it just makes me sad and wish I could just flip a switch and turn the loneliness off and be fully happy on my own. I’m tired of it sending me into a depressive episode.

I want to experience being wanted and loved as something more than a sex toy. Sure, I have my fantasies about being a living sex toy, but it needs to be balanced by reminders that I have value and worth. I crave intimacy and connection and mutual effort in a relationship. I want to be loved.

it confuses me when people say im kind for doing a thing i can help, so i do - its not? something that i see as special. im just me, i love people dearly and if i can help them then i will i dont do it for praise or thankyous i do it because it needs to be done and i can, so i do.

I feel like my heart and mind are ready for my first relationship, and I’m trying to cultivate more opportunities to meet people, but something about me seems to put me firmly in the “you’re cool but I’m not interested” boat for people I’m hopeful that will change but my happiness won’t rest on it

Today was such an off day… I normally don’t work Mondays but agreed to this week and it ended up being a mess mentally and physically. I’m so tired from performances this weekend and the shitty air quality and I forgot a ton of stuff and felt like such an idiot the whole day. Ugh.