Tariffs are supposed to be a tool, not a personality trait

Canadas got its problems, sure. But theres somethin to be said fera country that still understands leadership means lookin after people, not putting up a ballroom, they dont stop nukes, curtains dont bring anyone home. Statues dont protect a democracy #BallroomsOverBorderwalls Figure It Out #Canada

Some days yew wake up ready to conquer the world. Then ya remember the world is mostly emails, traffic, overpriced groceries, n nutsacks who stop at the top of the escalator So maybe dont conquer the world today. Maybe just keep ya boots tied, beer cold, n yer expectations somewhere below sea level.

Maga maneuverin. Middle East madness. Military movements. Market meltdowns. Migrant messes. Media manipulation. Monetary misery. Misinformation. Mismanagement. Missile madness. Multinational meddling. Moral posturing. Manufactured outrage. Maximum malarkey #PullYerFingeroutyerAss

Trump treats tariffs like the toolbox for every task. Tire’s flat? Tariffs. Toast burned? Tariffs. Thunderstorm? Tariffs. Toe stubbed? Toss another tariff on there. Thats not troubleshooting, thats throwing tools. Take about fifty percent off there, bud. #ThirsdayTariffTemperTantrums #FigureItOut

Nothing screams stable genius like pickin a fight wit yer neighbor who’d still come over with a snowblower when yer driveways buried #FigureItOut

Social media made everybody a foreign policy analyst. Cant find Canada on a map though #FigureItOut

One billionaire launching himself into space, another buildin robots to replace everybody, politicians are fighting on TV like divorced parents at a hockey game, n somehow eggs still cost more than common sense World got more technology than ever n people still cant zipper merge #FigureItOut

Worlds on fire, gas prices got folks considerin horseback transportation; now everybodys picking teams over the Pope n Trump like its Game 7 of the Stanley Cup. Bud cant afford eggs but postin 12 paragraph foreign policy breakdowns from the Tims parking lot #FigureItOut #KeepItSimple #TooMuchFun

Get yer work done early so your drink tastes earned, not borrowed. Nothin worse than celebratin work yew didn’t do-except maybe braggin about it after. Have a toofer with yer pals; keep it honest, keep it respectful. If yer the loudest guy at the table, yer probably the least interestin #FigureItOut

Weekend plan? rewatch Letterkenny n try keepin up this time. Ye missed more jokes than ye miss texts from yer mom, impressive, but not in a good way. Shows quick, so maybe grab a puppers put the phone down, engage the brain Or dont n keep thinkin ‘I don’t get it’ is a personality trait

Tech billionaires keep sayin AI’s gonna change the world. Bud ye already changed it. Made a generation that cant fix a fence but can argue with a degen 900 km away about pineapple pizza. Now yer buildin machines to replace jobs so they can spend more time staring at the same phones ye sold em.

Gas prices shoot up the second guy starts swinging his fists at Iran, n now suddenly high gas prices are a small price to pay Funny how gas prices were the end of days; when the other guy was in charge Thats not leadership; yer lightin the barn on fire then chargin admission to watch it burn #USA?

Skippin Letterkenny is like sayin ye love hockey but yew never watched the playoffs; enjoyin the warmup n callin it a game. Leaves town, gets his own show, keeps playin hockey, we call that here upward mobility. Long he remembers where he learned to chirp proper. If not, We can remind him #Shoresy

Seen a fella say kindness is weakness Funny thing about kindness, takes a hell of a lot more backbone than being a degen #FigureItOut

Bud says hes done his research. Turns out his research is three podcasts n a guy named Randy with a ring light Hard no #FigureItOut

If yer gonna thump the Bible with one hand n press the launch button with the other, ye might wanna stop n ask which one yew actually believe in. Salvation Sunday Missile Monday #FigureItOut

USA womens hockey turns down degens visit to White House , yet accepts Flava Flavs party in Vegas….. Suggest you let that one marinate #FigureItOut

ICE treatin Law n order like a horror franchise that shoulda ended years ago: same jump scares, dumber plot, higher body count. Keeps greenlightin sequels cause fear sells n thinkin doesnt. Its not safety, its cruelty run on vibes n applause. That aint strength, just degens cosplayed as competence

Demandin trust while hidin yer face is ten-ply behavior. Soft. Applesauce. If yer proud of yer work, stand in it. If not, maybe stop doin it Yew dont get immunity for shootin innocents, ye get investigated.Thats not tactics, yer cowards with accessories. End of the lane way dont come up the property

If ye plan needs cruelty to function, its a bad plan; fan base needs someone to hate 2 feel important, thats a worse N if yee fine with families get wrecked, long as it polls well, yew get to pretend this is about safety. Thats not patriotism, ita flag, sold to degens who confuse anger for backbone.

ICE goin around actin like theyre keepin the porch tidy while trackin mud through the livin room, and thats a Hard NO. Iif yer say it’s about law and order, you oughta start by knowin the law n maybe usin it with a touch of human decency. POS standin there noddin while the sheds on fire #FigureItOut

Seen ICE officers hidin behind masks now like its a costume party party, but back when the worlds coughin its lungs out they wouldnt cover their noses if yew paid em n Puppers and promise rings. Consistently Inconsistent. Hard Left, end of the laneway don’t come on the property #FigureItOut #ICE

Heated Rivalry: If The Man Advantage wasnt enough of a hint, thats not subtext, thats ye missin the puck entirely. Been chirps, been tension, been dudes starin at each other like it’s Game 7 since the opening faceoff. So if yer shocked now, dont blame the show, blame yer gap coverage. #FigureItOut

Monday mangy, mood-maulin’ meat-sack makin more mess than McMurray in mud season. Manage yer mornin muster your mettle, and if any mouth-breathr mouths off, make em mind their manners, makin me moments away from makin morons mind their manners manually.

If yer arguin’ with degens online on a Sunday, congrats- yew officially run out of hobbies. Go shovel somethin #FigureItOut

Buds been cozying up to rich weirdos for decades. The real surprise would be if he wasn’t mentioned in the Epstein files. Thatd be like a pig not rollin in their own shit. If he’s not on the list, I’ll eat my own boot. But bud, it’s not some secret Illuminati handshake, it’s straight-up creep hours.

Vatican finally brought back 62 things that werent theirs to the Natives. Took em a couple hundred years of theft, bad PR and a guilty conscience, but better late than never, I spose. Rome wasnt built in a day but apparently it was furnished with others stuff. #PapalPickpockets

Every nation arguin about somethin I’ve seen raccoons share a dumpster with more diplomacy #FigureItOut

Worlds gettin spun up like a toddler on Scneef. Everyone’s yellin ‘breaking news!’ but the only thing yer breakin is my patience. Figure it out.