Proudly responding “He takes after his mother” when the daycare teacher tells me my son had “an emotional day.”

I’m in the waiting room for a mammogram and there’s a lady who’s conservatively 97 years old and can’t hear, and they keep asking her “HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU GOT YOUR PERIOD” at top volume and she’s repeatedly responding “never ask a lady her age”

Two firetrucks of firefighters waving at my baby while he says "TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK" and wiggles in delight, I'm crying my bitch-ass eyes out

My boy turned 10 months old the other day, and oh man, every age has been my favorite age, but this one is in the top 10 for sure.

Genie: You have three wishes Me: The Ratatat Remixes albums on streaming. Keep the other 2, fam.

I mean, I've never NOT gotten diarrhea from Taco Bell, so props to the CDC and FDA for the tracing work.

Sorry, I can't come, my ponytail gave me a headache

I was already rooting for Mexico, but now it's personal.

Dr. Twink, Ketamine Woman@subtlebeast.bsky.social · last mo.

I hope Mexico beats England today as revenge for Mexico week on the Great British Bake-off

Filling out daycare forms. One question is “How do you refer to bowel movements at home?” OK well how many characters are allowed in this text box?

Love when Kraftwerk comes on the playlist and makes me feel like a cute little robot

Nothing makes me feel older than watching the NBA draft. These guys look like my literal 9 month old baby doing the two-people-in-a-trench-coat bit.

LA will really use any excuse to set off fireworks -- my neighbors with Lakers flags all over their house and cars are lighting it up for the Knicks lmao

If I became a trillionaire, I would not stay a trillionaire because I'd just...not keep all of that? I also wouldn't be a nazi.

Who can get a copy of my book to Emily Ratajkowski?

Juuuust got my sick baby to sleep. Time to turn on the game!

My coworker and I snuck Kylie Minogue song titles into our 360 feedback of each other 🥰

Soooo Los Angeles/California....who the fuck are we voting for 😭

I need to take a bereavement day. The hours I spent here, the gallons of coffee and pea soup I consumed, the pages and pages of books I read at the counter. THE SIGNED PHOTO OF ALF ON THE WALL. 😫

EV Grieve@evgrieve.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Say goodbye to another old-school NYC diner. Ownership of the Cozy Soup 'n' Burger on Broadway at Astor Place announced that the 54-year-old diner is closing on June 21. The reasons: Rising costs and declining business.

Yeah I'm at the club* *reading subreddits about back pain

Being a patient zero would be so embarrassing

You know when you forget a hair tie and go about your day feeling like one of those dogs in a hoarder house that gets rescued and they have to cut off 30 pounds of their fur just so they can walk and see again?

I saw the best indie musicians of my generation destroyed by LiveNation, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the tech jobs at LinkedIn looking for an angry fix

My phone autocorrected "soul mate" to "soup mate" and actually, I'd rather have one of those

Being a parent has made me so wonderfully delusional. I just had the earnest thought "Ooh maybe I should pitch a gallery show of a series of photos of my son sleeping on his tummy with his tiny tush up in the air!"

You ever just can't remember shit?

Forever missing Prince 💜☔️ Here's a piece I wrote a couple of years ago about the time I got to work with him. www.pastemagazine.com/music/prince...

Prince’s Hand Warmers

It all started with an email to my boss, Zooey Deschanel. Prince said he loved 'New Girl' and wanted to be on it. We were sure it was a prank.

pastemagazine.com

Had a dream I was frying capers with PJ Harvey

Can't stop, won't stop listening

Trent Reznor, still a genius!