The Love Dare has plenty of positive testimonials saying things like, "This changed me," or "This transformed my marriage." But that is NOT evidence that the abusive/deceptive spouse changed. Watch what they do without when they're not being prompted or coached. buff.ly/q8kZZxd

He was charming, confident, and had a beautiful smile. She married him within weeks of meeting him — and within weeks of that, she knew it was a mistake. Charm isn't character. And in 1922, there was no easy way out of a marriage, no matter how fast the red flags showed up. buff.ly/gHusUH4 🕊️

An apology, counseling, or tearful repentance isn't proof of change. Real change is deeper than words. If you had to spell out what you needed to see, seeing it now isn't proof of a lasting change. Compliance is reactive. Change is generative. buff.ly/akZmm98 #LifeSavingDivorce

Quote from Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D. Author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce #LifeSavingDivorce #ChristianDivorce #SpiritualAbuse #StayForTheKids #DivorceResearch #ToxicMarriage #ChristianMarriage

We were taught to fear divorce instead of fear abuse. Research points to the real driver of long-term trauma: abuse and household dysfunction—not the split itself. In high-distress homes, kids suffer 10x more damage when parents stay together (Amato, 2003). buff.ly/TLRytnt #LifeSavingDivorce

SAHMs: Have you ever thought, “I can’t leave. I haven’t worked in years. How would I possibly support myself?” Being a stay-at-home mom does NOT mean you have “no skills.” You may have far more marketable experience than you realize. 👉 Read my latest post: buff.ly/SuQu2hr #StayAtHomeMom #SAHM

How to Make Money After Divorce When You’ve Been a Stay-at-Home Mom | Life-Saving Divorce

Practical ideas for stay-at-home moms rebuilding income, skills, and financial stability.

lifesavingdivorce.com

Even the World’s Greatest Counselor Can’t Fix an Abuser Who Refuses to Change #LifeSavingDivorce #SpiritualAbuse #AbuseRecovery #ChristianCounseling #ToxicRelationships #SafeChurches #DomesticViolenceAwareness

John Piper told abused wives to endure abuse "for a season" and perhaps be "smacked one night" before seeking church help. Not a paraphrase — his words. His 2012 "clarification" never retracted it, never apologized. Timeline: buff.ly/IwKTPIu #SpiritualAbuse

John Piper on Wife Abuse: Did He Retract His “Smacked One Night” Advice? | Life-Saving Divorce

A documented timeline of Piper’s wife-abuse advice, the backlash, and his later statements.

lifesavingdivorce.com

Well-meaning Christian teaching often trains us to rename danger signs as attractive qualities: Harsh criticism → "They're just painfully honest." Jealousy → "They're just protective." Lying → "They remember things differently." Full list here: buff.ly/rEpK2hm

When Women’s Ministries Reframe Abuse Red Flags as Virtues | Life-Saving Divorce

Women’s ministry advice can hide abuse red flags by renaming control, jealousy, and cruelty as godly qualities. Learn how to recognize the danger.

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“I knew I needed to find a new church when my pastor said five times in one sermon, ‘If you walk away from your marriage, you’re walking away from Jesus’.” ~Gretchen Baskerville, The Life-Saving Divorce, p. 62 #LifeSavingDivorce #SpiritualAbuse #SafeChurches #ChristianDivorce

Focus on the Family is paying Google to advertise: "80% still married after 2 years." I went back to their own 2011 study. 92% of couples (959 of 1,043) didn't respond to the survey. "80%" isn't 8 in 10 attendees — it's 71 of the 84 who responded. See my write-up here: buff.ly/EGeZCVa

In a high-conflict divorce, a strong parenting plan protects your children. ❤️ Clear boundaries can reduce arguments, create stability, and give children the peace they need. A well-written parenting plan helps everyone know what to expect, so you're not fighting the same battles over and over.

“The idea that pastors get to decide whether a woman is ‘abused enough’ to get a divorce is ludicrous.” —Julie Anne Smith The Life-Saving Divorce, p. 64 #LifeSavingDivorce #SafeChurches #SpiritualAbuse #ChristianDivorce

In this new post, I share 3 ways the trad wife ideal can leave women unprepared for destructive marriages, why some Christian premarital teaching misses serious red flags, and why sincere faithfulness is not enough to overcome another person’s lack of character. buff.ly/e7JhD7S #TradWife

"If you leave, your children will resent you." Is that always true? In two Life-Saving Divorce community polls, nearly 9 in 10 parents said at least one child supported the divorce. Every family is different, but this challenges a common assumption. buff.ly/AbleXRR #LifeSavingDivorce

Do Children Resent the Parent Who Leaves a Destructive Marriage? Not Necessarily. | Life-Saving Divorce

Do children always resent the parent who leaves? This post examines two polls of highly religious Christians, and what they suggest about destructive marriages.

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"The problem wasn’t that you trusted—it was that your spouse took advantage of that trust." The Life-Saving Divorce, p. 379 #LifeSavingDivorce #BetrayalTrauma #ChristianDivorce #ToxicMarriage #SpousalAbuse

Divorce isn't always a sign that something went wrong. Sometimes, it's the protection God built in. ✝️ Moses didn't just allow divorce for mistreated wives — he commanded it. It's time Christians had a more nuanced view. Watch the full message at buff.ly/mX397jv #lifesavingdivorce

You don't have to stay in a marriage that's destroying you to prove your faith is strong. 🕊️ God sees what's happening behind closed doors. #lifesavingdivorce #biblicalmarriage #domesticabuseawareness

When you've spent years holding everything together, choosing safety can feel like breaking. But what feels like breaking may actually be your way out. #LifeSavingDivorce #DivorceRecovery

We talk a lot about the ideals of marriage in church. But almost never the minimum standard. 💔 What's the line no spouse should cross? And why are we so afraid to draw it? Watch the full video at buff.ly/ikXL3AY #lifesavingdivorce #biblicalmarriage #domesticabuseawareness

I asked divorced women one simple question: "Did you keep your married name?" The answers were varied. Some kept it for their kids. Some couldn't bear carrying an abuser's name one more day. Some invented a brand-new last name entirely. See their responses here: buff.ly/c5i6Ozk #DivorceRecovery

Despite what we were told, 73.9% of mothers with children under 18 participate in the labor force (2025). Among MARRIED mothers with children under 18, participation was 72.1%. This surprised me because Christian radio and books promoted the idea that MOST moms were stay-at-home moms.

Among the 323 divorced Christians I surveyed, 57% said their divorce took a year or longer to finalize. That doesn’t fit the “easy divorce” story. Before making divorce harder, policymakers should ask: harder for whom? The spouse dragging out court & refusing support—or the one trying to get safe?

The “Easy Divorce” Myth: For Many Christian Survivors, Divorce Took Years | Life-Saving Divorce

A Christian divorce survey shows why making divorce harder may harm abuse survivors and high-conflict families

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BOOK REVIEW: His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley Jr. This bestseller has a lot of ugly. Like most "affair-proof your marriage" books, it repeatedly blames the wife. Her body, her labor, her appearance — all framed as the husband's safeguards against sin. Full review here: buff.ly/kZ2nrFL

New article: “Why is my spouse pushing for a FAST divorce?” In a controlling marriage, speed can be pressure—to accept a bad settlement, rush custody decisions, or sign before you understand your rights. Review my checklist of documents to gather before signing anything: buff.ly/G4tQ149

The 21 Catholic Annulment Grounds. How are they different from divorce? Read my latest blog post: buff.ly/PIsIIxa

Lord, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow, you are with me.

The UK is moving away from automatic 50/50 child custody — and it should make Americans pause. Custody isn't about adult fairness. It's about child safety. Children are not property to be divided equally. They are precious human beings who deserve protection. Read the blog post: buff.ly/EnNBJ10

Part 4: Is Your Spouse Lying? Why Counseling Often Fails Marriage counseling assumes good faith and truth-telling from both people, but what happens when you have a manipulative spouse? Read my latest blog post on this topic: buff.ly/EAffGZt #lifesavingdivorce #gaslighting #christiancounseling

Part 3: Is Your Spouse Lying? What Behavior Actually Gives Away a Lie Amount of eye contact and fidgeting show zero reliability for detecting lies according to research. Their calm is not evidence of honesty. The real clue is their behavioral pattern. buff.ly/Mp6vcEM #lifesavingdivorce