Trump's heart is good for something. His heart is so cold that it alone has stopped global warming from #sinking entire cities. #joke

Hating the #DPRK is capitalist propaganda: North Korea doesn't have those "Live Laugh Love" decorations. Just ignore the fact that there are barely any other decorations because incomes are so low.

"The wages of #sin is death." What is the conversion rate of sins to US Dollars?

"You know too much. Assistant, prepare the memory eraser!" "Sir, #inflation ate our money and we couldn't renew our subscription to the MemGon software." "What's the next best option?" "Those 50¢ erasers that just smudge your writing all over the paper." "Overkill much? We're not monsters."

#Genie: Your wish? Me: To build an elevator from here to Pluto. Genie: Try something less #impossible. Me: Give us our #DOGE checks. Genie: Do you want the elevator encrusted in diamonds?

Breaking #News: The executioner for a modern #witch burning is being questioned for casting a fireball spell after he, in his own words, "misplaced the matches in his third #mage cloak."

Breaking #News: K-12 lunches now come with animal crackers that were baked when #Zaire was still a country.

Keep Calm and Go Inside the Square Hole. You'll always fit! #keepcalm #joke #squarehole www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUbI...

The Original Square Hole Girl Video + The Redemption

YouTube video by Tired Actor (Alison Burke)

youtube.com

#Politicians: It'd help if our social safety net wasn't the razor wire that came from #prison perimeters, which have now been replaced by deadly lasers.

Yo mama is so #dumb and #fat, that of the 140 viewers of #Trump TV, she is 139 of them. #yomama

#Playlist: What to Wear with My Wedding Dress White Tight Tights - GIN AND TONIC YOUTH! - New Times (youtube.com/watch?v=X9odIom9fd8)

White Tight Tights

YouTube video by GIN AND TONIC YOUTH! - Topic

youtube.com

#Playlist: POV Where Your Spaghetti is Cold I Will Starve Myself to Death - Ros Sereysothea - Electric Cambodia (youtube.com/watch?v=bpR4pYbvQGc)

I Will Starve Myself to Death

YouTube video by Ros Serey Sothea - Topic

youtube.com

Jekyll says: #Iran shouldn't have #nuclear weapons as it destabilizes the region. Hyde says: If their #missile strike succeeds, there'll be thousands fewer people to feed. #jekyllandhyde

A rabbit, horse, and pig walk into a #bar. Kash Patel owns the bar. #FBI

It's disgraceful to see Native Americans trampling on General Custer's flag... those moccasins don't deserve to stand in filth. Fine, just clean them later. #Indigenous

Something that #Texas lawmakers could cut instead of the #autism program: their crap.

In 20 years, a #programming job #interview will require a 5000-word essay about the symbolism behind "killing children" and its implications.

Pete Hegseth's new "Department of #War" logo is pathetically #authoritarian. The new design dropped the olive branches from the eagle's grip. What, is the new eagle too weak to carry it? The symbol of America's #strength can't carry a pound of flora.

"What are you in for?" "I sold #Swiss #cheese fair and square." "What's wrong with that?" "I only gave them the holes." #scam #joke #jail

The worst part about #voting for a third-party candidate in #America is that you go into the booth knowing that it's the same thing as going to a horse race and betting on the rabid mouse in the bathroom.

Let's face it: the real reason #Trump got more unhinged is that his brain had a #referendum to join #Russia and left #America behind.

New #Proverb : Every year is the Year of the Anteater - if the anteater can find a tasty ant mound. Meaning: make this year yours. Don't care about #pseudoscience.

#Question: Do #computer #hackers form daisy-chain-gangs in #prison instead of regular chain-gangs?

Two hundred years from now, we'll have houses built on #ancient data center grounds. Instead of #ghosts, the occupants will be #haunted by the AI #slop videos the data center helped make.

As a proud eater of #microplastics, my Ancestry.com DNA test came back as "0.1% credit card." Now if only I had 0.1% APR. #joke #money

Yo mama so #ugly, that when she practiced #flirting by herself in the mirror and asked for her own phone number, her reflection #rejected her. #yomama

#Scalpers ARE collectors... Collecting a fat "L" every time supply meets demand. #joke

Imagine other entities acting like #Netflix. #God would be like," Don't share the #password to eternal life!" to people who hand out Bibles.

Yo everyone, we should call all the #conversion camps in the country and say we want to leave our sinful ways, dragging along the conversation for as long as possible... only to say that we're #straight and want to be #gay. #joke

A drug dealer went clean and decided to repurpose his small gram baggies. He used one to store the courage that #Trump had when he hid from #Iran in a food cart. #joke