"Pretty sure those were your exact words, actually."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 20h ago

“ Can I sue you for misquoting me?”

This is what happens when you let Armand use Google.

Armand | Parody@le-maitre.bsky.social · 12h ago

Oh look. The Mind Gift. How interesting. Sorry, Elsa. You lose.

No comment! Take any advertisements up with the marketing department!

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 21h ago

@lobbingbombs.bsky.social did you do this?

Oh, that could only mean one thing. He looks over to Armand, trying very hard to keep his expression neutral. He's failing spectacularly. "You mean..." He almost groans, but he manages to just /sigh/ instead. "I was really hoping we wouldn't be bringing him into this."

Armand | Parody@le-maitre.bsky.social · 2d ago

When you’re a vampire, beheading a friend is like a casual argument for humans. Grateful for the comfort, Armand squeezes Daniel’s hand. “Beheading him was not warning enough, and he is not listening to me. But I know someone he might listen to.”

"So, that's your way of saying I'm right." The satisfaction of being right is somewhat diminished by the fact that this 'plan' of Lestat's ends in death and destruction anyway. ... And he's a very young fledgling.

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

Lestat looks away. Daniel is right, and he knows it. Still, Lestat is stubborn even as his story unravels. “I suppose we will find out soon enough.” Something is happening. A war. A Great Convergence. But things would not be the same, and he is glad of it.

Daniel can't read Armand's mind. But he knows him well. So when he feels his maker stiffening, he reaches out and takes his free hand in his. "What're you thinking, boss?" Something tells him that he won't like the plan that's starting to form in the older vampire's head. Which is saying ━

Armand | Parody@le-maitre.bsky.social · 2d ago

Maybe Armand can “interrogate”Lestat instead of Louis for the second beheading. Then again, he caved with Louis, too. “We do not really have the luxury of waiting out Lestat and his whims.” Armand is older. Sometimes he wishes Lestat would /listen/ to that experience. Then again, he knows ~

"Ooookay. Let me get this straight. You're starting a war for very vague reasons and you're not even sure who is going to be fighting in the war?" A pause. "Either /I'm/ misunderstanding or maybe /you/ should think this through a little more."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

Had Lestat thought as far ahead as what an actual war would look like? Not entirely. “I think we all will be.” So in other words, if he must. He can’t exactly watch it all burn around him.

His head naturally leans towards Armand's touch. He would never admit out loud that he likes when his maker does that, but surely he knows. "I doubt so too. But /he/ seems to convinced of it." Which is the frustrating part about Lestat. It's like tearing ━

Armand | Parody@le-maitre.bsky.social · 2d ago

That earns a bitter laugh. Armand sits down beside Daniel and rests an elbow upon his shoulder. The position allows him a favorite pastime: playing with his hair. “I told him that two hundred years ago.” Back when Armand’s rules were not Marius’ code of goodness but rather the belief that ~

Armand's not a fan of Daniel's pursuits either. Probably because of his Children of Darkness days... He's not going to think too hard on his maker's reasonings, though. Lestat is usually pretty good about not pushing into his head, but he's always careful about those thoughts ━

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

“And yet my tour and your book only convinced /some/ that we are real.” As to his thought process, he can barely explain it to himself let alone anyone else. Does he want humanity wiped out? No. Does he want vampires hunted to extinction? No. But. “Your maker always hated that I would ~

"Yeah, well, I'm starting to feel like the sanest out of all of you. Maybe that's why the young ones lose it." He huffed, flopping down onto the couch, covering his face in his hands. If he wasn't already grey, he'd say that Lestat would give him grey hairs. He doesn't care about exposure. Hell, ━

Armand | Parody@le-maitre.bsky.social · 2d ago

He chuckles. “Generally, it’s the young ones who lose it first.” Armand has had a long time to ponder Lestat’s psychology. It was always an interesting enigma, though he has some thoughts on why he is the way he is. “Sometimes I think he enjoys doing something bizarre just to see what will ~

"That's what I thought at first, too." But it seemed beyond that. Maybe Lestat doesn't even realize what he's doing, making himself such a giant target that himself and Louis are small potatoes. "He /says/ he wants to be himself. I can't wrap my head around this shit, man, can vampires go senile?"

Armand | Parody@le-maitre.bsky.social · 2d ago

“He might get both if he is not careful.” Already, vampires are gathering, and it’s not simply because they are “fans.” They were angry at Louis. At Daniel. Now Lestat. Perhaps, he should be grateful. “He might be trying to protect Louis,” Armand offers, which may seem like a stretch given ~

"And you can't do that without a war? Seems like you've been doing that pretty well as the musician." He shakes his head, swiping a hand as if erasing his words from the air. "Walk me through your thought process, man."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

“I want to be /myself/.” He wants to be amongst humanity but not pretend to be one of them. So yes. Visibility. He wishes to be be seen. He wishes for all of them to be seen.

His eyes narrow and he stares at Lestat, as if trying to decide if he's being genuine. He must decide that he /is/ because when he finally decides to speak up, he answers truthfully. "Yeah. I do."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

Lestat gives him a look. “I am trying to figure you out.” And maybe — slightly — reconsider his own thoughts about Armand. In this moment, at least, he does not mock.

That's not a good look. (... Oh, who is Daniel kidding? He loves that look.) "Human-vampire war specifically. Not vampire on vampire."

Armand | Parody@le-maitre.bsky.social · 2d ago

He blinks slowly. “I see.” And now, the wheels are turning.

His eyebrows raise. There are so many issues with that, but that's not the important thing right now. If Lestat wants something, there's no convincing him otherwise. They're similar that way. It's more important to understand. "So, your goal is... visibility?"

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

He felt loss and disappointment. What can he say? “Why? Why not?” Maybe Lestat is being dismissive. “We have spent centuries hiding in shadows and relegated to fiction. Is it not time for them to see who we are and what we are capable of?”

The answer is yes. Daniel cared from the moment he saw Louis' 'human assistant.' He cared in those hazy memories that he's slowly gaining back. He cared in the apartment where he was held for days. But he's stubborn. He won't just admit it. ". . . Depends. Why're you asking?"

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

It is remarkable, really, the hold Armand has on Daniel. And the hold Daniel has on him. It is beautiful in a way. Not that Lestat would ever say so. “You truly do care about him, don’t you?” Daniel might also see the faults, but he sees something else, too.

/ARMAAAAND!/ LESTAT'S TRYING TO START A WAR!

Daniel still hasn't managed to do much without a lighter... But that's fine. He has a lighter!

Björn the Vampire Mouse@bjornthemouse.bsky.social · 2d ago

Yay! Björn has been practicing his fires too! He can only make little tiny ones though…

"Are you judging my score? You didn't even /see it/, you were in the bag the whole time!" A huff. But then, he had more important things to focus on than his own ego. ". . . Why the hell would you want that?"

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

Lestat glowers. “You probably would have had a higher score were you less /chatty/.” He lets the subsequent words marinate a little bit. “Yes. Between vampires and humans.” He will wait for the follow-up questions.

"Think h..." Daniel blinked. Genuinely, it's hard to wrap his head around the Armand /he/ knows and the Armand everyone /else/ knows. Not the violence. Not the betrayal. Those parts match up. It's the other parts. "I need to hear more about your time together, man."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

Lestat narrows his gaze as he appraises the man. He sighs. There is no denying the man’s sincerity. “He is lucky, I suppose, that you think so highly of him.”

"Yeah. That one was my fault. I said we had to get through your thick skull and... one thing led to another and then your head was in my bowling bag." A casual shrug. But his next words catch Daniel's attention. "A /war/? Tell me more about that."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

“Really? You leap from me missing a non-existent warning — sandwiched between compliments or not — to beheading?” Quite extreme if you ask him. “I want a /war/ not more vampires!” he blurts out.

He knows. He loves the man, but he knows his faults. He's not going to deny them. "Maybe you didn't know him as well as you thought you did, 'cause that's exactly what I'm telling you."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

He doesn’t point out that Daniel agreed to the desperation comment. “Are you telling me /Armand/ is exciting? You forget that I’ve known him for a couple hundred years.”

"What else could you have meant?" He raised an eyebrow. "See, this is why we had to cut your head off."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

“Do you take every song literally, Daniel?” Has Lestat been trying to stir the pot? Sure. But more vampires aren’t his aim. He understands supply chain issues, so to speak.

He's sure he can! And that way, the three of them can set things on fire together.

Björn the Vampire Mouse@bjornthemouse.bsky.social · 2d ago

Björn can be a good supervisor!

"One of your songs says 'make more' over and over again." He said, deadpan. "You should hear my impression of you. It's even better."

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

“Much better. But you have one thing wrong: I am not telling vampires to make more vampires. If humans wish to be one because they find me amazing, that is on them,” he adds with a dismissive wave of his hand. “And that was a horrible impression, by the way.”

"No, no, /that/ sounds familiar... But it can't be the same guy if you're calling him a stick in the mud." They really shouldn't. The might be at this all night.

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

“No? So tall, dark, and desperate doesn’t ring any bells?” They really, really should not be left alone:

"Oh my god." He often disregards Armand's warnings too. But he at least /knows/ he's disregarding! "Does he need to sandwich it in compliments?" Clears his throat. Puts on his Armand impression; the French version instead of the British version. Since he's been using that ━

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

“Did he say those things?” He looks genuinely confused. “Huh . . .” Maybe he was not paying attention. “I remember a sappy little letter in which he talked about how sorry he is and how magnanimous I am. But a warning . . .” He shakes his head.

"A stick in the mud?" He raised his eyebrows in a dramatic show of surprise. "I don't know if we're thinking of the same guy!"

Lestat de Lioncourt | Parody@lebriseurderegles.bsky.social · 2d ago

Well-played. Lestat smirks. “Your /companion/ can be a stick in the mud. It is reasonable to be worried about what eternity might be like.”

This is a great idea.

Björn the Vampire Mouse@bjornthemouse.bsky.social · 2d ago

Björn volunteers to supervise! What could go wrong?