Girl who is going to dom you. That must be so embarrassing for you.
Lora Bites ✨
@lorabites.bsky.social
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I started doing words of the day when I come across terms I don't know in art and literature. Today's word is "Schnickeys" from Tommy Boy.
If I send you this emoji 🙄 it means I'm trying to get hate-fucked. DUH 🙄
Me having very normal thoughts and desires. Im very normal.
Socialists should change their advertising approach to be more like the military. Stuff like "are you a bad enough dude to organize your community? Do you think you got what it takes to destroy capitalism? Or are you a weak little chump?"
It's so annoying to check onlyfans and see 73 notifications from the same person who liked everything but bought nothing. Just getting as much free porn as they can. Chud behavior.
Just found some old family pics while moving and omg I wish I never went through dude puberty. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. No more dude puberty! I think that's reasonable.
The air pollution is making me wake up at 8 am extremely horny. It has to be that cuz I don't do this often. Only like 2-3 times a week tops.
My ADHD ass could never pull off a heist. I would get in the room where there are security lasers I'm supposed to dodge and think I'm at a cool rave.
I did not get the job at Taco Bell because they said I was overqualified.
Idk why more ppl with humiliation kinks don't just become horrible singers in bands and call it performance art. It's still more entertaining than what most bands do on stage.
Tgirls that adopt the fucking mean girl shit need to grow the fuck up frankly You’re not in school anymore so quit acting like it
Im glowing rn. I wish Lindsey Graham could die everyday. It's doing wonders for my health.
My favorite thing about airplanes is that it's funny to watch full grown adults on a business trip get served animal crackers like a toddler.
We could end American fascism tomorrow if only Bo Burnham would drop a new rap album. The ppl yearn.
Sometimes I'll start writing a flirty text that goes on so long I switch to finishing it in my notes app where it continues into multiple paragraphs erotica and I'll be like "well there's no way I can send this now."
Imagine trying to fuck a clone of yourself and they're like "nah, I'm good." Devastating!
Pretty overwhelmed lately with how ppl are publicly being given life sentences for having leftist ideology and everyone just seems to be moving along. Its pretty fucking bleak.
Omw to a lesbian bar to do karaoke in my Kate Bush shirt but I feel like it's stolen valor. I have 0% bush rn.
Idgaf if a top has a bedframe. I will be more upset they wont fuck me on the floor.
Oh you're a biological female?? Psssh, I bet you cant even name the 4 main classes of cnidarians.
If Kamala runs again we have the opportunity to do the funniest thing (again)
Ppl love to say an actor was born to play a role but I'm pretty sure no doctor has ever looked at a baby and said "looks like we have a little Barton Fink on our hands!"
I never feel more awkward than when someone asks me to read their poetry.
Turning 12 dollars into a bottle of cheap wine similar to Jesus Christ, our lord and savior.
Dear god. This is so dumb lol. Bill Maher out here plunging new depths of hack comedy and acting like he's the true rebel of our times. I bet he walks around in a Guy Fawkes mask at home and occasionally says "fuck yeah! Im Bill Maher!"
My girlfriend keeps saying random facts about mel brooks to me. Should i take her to the hospital for a check up?