When you get two cats, how do they decide which one will have a tiny chirp like a pixie’s doorbell and which one will wail like the ghost of a jilted bride?

My favorite ridiculous attempt to define D&D alignment was the guy who claimed that “chaotic” was the exact same thing as “libertarian,” so a chaotic neutral barbarian, for example, would be very respectful of property rights.

Me as a giant hobbit.

Lore Sjöberg@loresjoberg.bsky.social · last wk.

(At the Renaissance Faire) Eli: You look like a giant hobbit. Me: A wholeling. Eli: No.

Anyone else feeling like you’ve got the yips, but for life in general? Like, doing what you’ve always done suddenly isn’t working anymore at all and you don’t know why?

(At the Renaissance Faire) Eli: You look like a giant hobbit. Me: A wholeling. Eli: No.

Gotta take my wins where I can get them these days.

Whoever named their deep sea laser scanning system “DeepPIV” knew exactly what they were doing.

So ALF (yes, the cartoon puppet alien) was and in a sense is kayfabe. The cast was not allowed to acknowledge that ALF was a puppet. The creator even turned down Saturday Night Live because they wouldn’t guarantee that the audience would never see a puppeteer.

Lemme know if you’re aware of a room for rent in the greater Seattle metropolitan area.

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I actually knew Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham were two different people.

How to tell if you have ADHD. First, look at a bunch of ADHD memes. If your response is “that me,” you do not have ADHD. If your response is “In the name of the indifferent gods, what sorcery has divined my entire being and laid it out before me like viscera torn from my very body?” you have ADHD.

I haven’t watched the video, but I assume it’s because Aragorn ate nine.

I can’t explain why, but a half-pound of pasta is definitely less than half of a pound of pasta.

Don’t mind me, I’m just here to check out the reactions to today’s Wordle.

Google has finally gotten so shitty that Reddit is comfortable being shittier as well. It’s enshittification all the way down.

“My eyes are up here.”

Agatha Chocolats@agathachocolats.bsky.social · 4w ago

In six words or fewer, write a story about this photo. #sixwordstory #WritingCommunity

Pinocchio after becoming a real boy:

The Coward Papa Joe@iamjoseph.bsky.social · 4w ago

Shit. Fuck. I just remembered I'm mortal. Fuck.

This is “fudge” made with chocolate chips and mini marshmallows, with embedded “Tiniest Chocolate Chip Cookies” from Trader Joe’s added. You could call it chocolate chip cookie inception, but alas the TJ morsels don’t really taste like chocolate.

Lore Sjöberg@loresjoberg.bsky.social · 4w ago

I am attempting to invent inverse chocolate chip cookies.

I am attempting to invent inverse chocolate chip cookies.

Hey girl, are you a topical analgesic? Because I see hot!

Listening to “MMMBop.” It truly was the scat of a generation.

Yesterday I ran a table at the 15 Percent Café’s casual co-op night, and the pertinent question of the evening was “How many holes does a mermaid have?”

This isn’t my usual sort of content, but I think it’s important to inform you that “pet pourri” literally means “rotten fart” in French

If anyone needs me, I’ll be slouching toward Bethlehem to be born.

ReligionForBreakfast needs their prescriptions reviewed.

Drunk guy with very strong and detailed opinions about vaginas talking to whomever makes eye contact:

Moby Dick@mobydickatsea.bsky.social · last mo.

and the rare virtue of thick walls, and the rare virtue of interior spaciousness

Not my pie, not my blackbirds.

Eartha Kitt. Watera Kitt. Aira Kitt. Then everything changed when Firea Kitt attacked.

I find it troubling that the giblets packed inside a whole chicken are not from that specific chicken. It troubles me.

Not my Baskervilles, not my hound.