The little ball on this ring spins and rattles so as you can imagine I am playing with my dick all day now. No time for distractions. 🐕
Lurch
@lurchpenguin.bsky.social
A birb, a puppy, a little guy. He/They. 40 now. Gay for all genders.
1986 is, uh, quite a year. Gonna have to go with cringey small ball stud muffin force quit internet 💀
Merriam-Webster@merriam-webster.com · 5d agoFind the 5 words from your birth year that perfectly describe YOUR vibe ⬇️ www.merriam-webster.com/time-traveler/
Find out the company recently had an 'inclusion day' where the cishets all got cake and merch. I was not included. 😁
Thought for sure there was an account I could tag but uh, blocked. VeryMadComplexDOTCom👀 Uncle Damo touched my pants package and now my legs are gay as hell. 🎉 If only they would bring back piss camo pants and put some more fuckin' birds on some merch. 🐦
Got called a good mutt a lot today. It makes me whimper more and fuck harder. Please don't use this information against me.
New BigLurch sighting photo, allegedly. Look how short that shadow is. Obviously fake. How come people only ever have their oldest and weirdest cameras at the nude beach when these supposed sightings occur? 🤔
The piss chat is like a bus. You get nothing all day and then three turn up at once. 😳
Was a dog and a bird of the sands. Drank a lot of accidental sea water, got nude. Good day out. 🐶
Been putting murrsuit porn on the computers in the gay sauna for a while now. Some of the ordinary gays stop to watch. In a couple of years they'll all be blue haired genderqueers barking at eachother and doing piss stuff. I am leaving a legacy.
If two bisexuals, one guy and one girl, are in a 'straight passing' relationship do they collectively constitute a mere one sexual or do they infact represent a whopping four sexuals? How can anyone sleep until we have answered this basic and terrifying question?
Just got run over for the first time only to find out that the only way to report a hit and run is if you are the driver and you turn yourself in to the police station, a situation I consider to be unlikely. Can't be arsed crossing the county or waiting hours on the phone to try, either. 💀
Oops, nearly forgot international take dick pics at work day again. 😳
I love being a little faggot beast, a queer creature frolicking through a glade of freaks. 🐕
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Pastry fuckers, rejoice! After two long years, the fuckable sausage roll is back. Today is National Sausage Roll Day and we're celebrating the only way we know how (cumming inside a delicious mouth-watering pastry). Fresh out the oven and limited to just 300 toys! 🌭 go.were.dog/sausagerollday
I love small penis humiliation but I have quite a lot of dick BUT I also love being denied and not getting what I want. People tell me I have a big cock and I'm like 'I hate that and I'm not getting what I want' so it keeps getting bigger. 😵💫
Actually I'm seeing the funny side now so I'm going to share it. Slid into a gloryhole booth earlier and as I closed the door and started to kneel some guy ran into the next booth and dropped to his knees like it was a race. Bitch, I got parried. 🤣
Post con reflections; ¬It takes me one cons length to warm up and get social ¬My cum smells of bacon now ¬Furs need to get out of their heads and into eachothers DMs more ¬No law forbids huffing pits in the lobby ¬Gonna keep getting weirder ¬I love all my friends esp. the ones I never talk to 🥰
Oh yeah, new fursuit. Been in a headstack now, finally a real furry. 🐧
I'm also at the cumguzzled furry convention at birmingham's adequate hilton's hotel. I might give off the vibe of being a really popular furry with too many friends and party invites to even keep track of where my penis goes but secretly I am an anxious ball of loner jizz. Plz invite me to things.
Snapped the trigger on my old glue gun so I bought an upgrade. 👀
Gonna try make 'bleats' a thing again. I think this may be my legacy. Gotta go hard on this one thing.
