Mark

@marcus-zoom.bsky.social

She's either barking at everything or nothing; some days I'm not sure even she knows.

This wee fishy leapt onto the rocks in front of me this afternoon, wriggled around for 30 seconds then thankfully found its way back into the ocean. No idea why, not sure which species, didn't have the chance to ask, happened so fast. Distinctive orange tip to it's snout, body is about 25cm long.

Small grey fish with a long snout wriggling on top of shore rocks having just leapt out of the ocean.Small grey fish with a long snout and distinctive orange tip, wriggling on top of shore rocks, splashing tail in water.

Lounging on the back deck watching an insane amount of satellites glide gracefully overhead. When did all that get up there? And a shooting star! 50 points for each in Usborne's Spotters Guide to the Night Sky. I've beat 7-year-old-me's annual score in one night.

Front cover of Usborne's "Spotters Guide to the Night Sky". Essential element in the library of any precocious child of the 1970s.

This morning my laptop claimed it was not charging when plugged in but charging when unplugged. The battery percentage was even rising. Freaky. Well of course I began writing an announcement for the discovery of limitless free energy when the cursed thing died on me. Now it's behaving again. Damn.

Pebbles has had a most excellent 2nd birthday celebration, with much barking and the consumption of many, many fine treats, and would appreciate it if everybody would kindly naff off for a few hours while she recovers.

Pebbles the dog lying on her back resting after a wonderful day of playing, birthday treats and barking at all her favourite things.

#Eurovision & FA Cup finals on the same day is just magic. I love both. But also how in my 52 years on this planet do I know enough about football to see the Palace win from a mile off (good on yer!) yet still have no sodding clue who will win Eurovision? I was sure Finland was going to storm it.

Always late to the party, finally watched Skeet, no preconceptions, and oh it's good. So well observed and paced. I feel it would transfer well to the stage.

"My God, how long have you been getting away with this?" Charles Hill, TV bigwig many moons ago, visiting a Scottish station, unimpressed by their output. They were crestfallen, the show was axed. I often think about this quote. My fate is similar if ever his counterpart visits one of my classes.

One of the dogs - not the usual suspect - is barking at an empty truck across the road, expecting it to go away. The truck meanwhile is nonchalant, decidedly unmoved. Indeed. Anyway someone please hack self-driving cars to make bark-activation a thing.

Vinyl. Accidentally played too fast it could make the sublime sound ridiculous. But occasionally... At 33rpm Tattoed Beat Messiah was a campy, sleazy, hard-rock ride. At 45rpm: shazam! Zodiac Mindwarp transformed from gravelly-voiced letch into a mocking imp on acid, intent on stealing your soul.

Album cover for Tattooed Beat Messiah, by Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Chain Reaction. We see Zodiac Mindwarp - alter ego of the apparently mild-mannered Mark Manning - replete with leather jacket, leather fingerless gloves and dark shades, and for a reason I can't quite fathom, a back to front baseball cap. He's holding his chin in his hand and staring straight at you, as if he wants to be taken seriously, which I assure you could not be further from the truth. I swear that his lyric "Sex fuhrer baby I'm a love dictator, You're a disco reptile a funky alligator" is at a level of majestic absurdity that no AI will ever be able to match. Well, not until somebody figures out how to get a computer to mainline LSD.

Only ever had two things on my bucket list to see: 1. Northern Lights 2. A proof that there are no odd perfect numbers* Given an uncanny ability to keep missing #1, even if I live for three centuries I probably won't see either. *will gladly accept the existence of an odd perfect number in lieu.