I'm so old, I can remember when the only fake news was the National Enquirer.
Mariana Z
@mariana057.bsky.social
I’m not a comedian, but I joke a lot. I steal the good jokes. Bad jokes are mine. https://ko-fi.com/mariana057 #Resist. http://cash.app/$Marianaz057
I'm so old, I can remember when the only fake news was the National Enquirer.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Russel Crowe and Sheryl Crow walks into a bar. The barman calls 911 and says, " I need to report an attempted murder."
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don't need anything from Amazon today…
You are dust, and you will return to dust... That's why I don't dust, it could be someone I know.
Saying "have a nice day" to someone sounds friendly But saying "enjoy your next 24 hours" sounds threatening.
I bet he wishes he wore something to shield his face from the sun… Oh, wait
Q: How do you think the unthinkable? A: Thteer it into an itheberg.
So, what if I don't know what Apocalypse means? It's not like it’s the end of the world…
I don’t care how old I am… If I walk by a toy in a store that has a "Try Me" sticker on it, I'm pushing that button!
I know I joke a lot on my posts, but on a serious note, I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if it’s a success, I will be out of debt and own everything I have now. I’m so excited I can barely put on my ski mask…
I know I joke a lot on my posts, but on a serious note, I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if it’s a success, I will be out of debt and own everything I have now. I’m so excited I can barely put on my ski mask…
Apparently, there is a Patron Saint of copying people on an email. It's St. Francis of a CC…
Bruce Willis went shopping... ...and he overheard a fellow customer say, "Yipee-ki-yay!" Without thinking he yelled out, "Motherfucker!" Customers gasped and stared at him, shocked. He looked at the crowd of people and said, "Oh sorry, old habits...Die Hard."
Apparently, there is a Patron Saint of copying people on an email. It's St. Francis of a CC…
When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid… She becomes a Def Leppard.
I don’t care how old I am… If I walk by a toy in a store that has a "Try Me" sticker on it, I'm pushing that button!
A robot walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Sorry," the bartender says, "but we don't serve robots." The robot replies, "Someday you will."
And today, I'm wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me… Who forget to separate red laundry from white laundry.
I asked seven billionaires, “What's the secret to your success?" and they all said the same thing… "How did you get into my mansion?"
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you didn't overthink everything? I think about it all the time.
