Banzai Bill is addicted to the Internet.

Pink Gold Mamar has fatally shot Zokket.

Mario & Luigi is busy playing Hotel Connie.

They need to make a spinoff starring Superball Goomba.

Mona is running for President! Their running mate is Plum!

Builder Mario is contemplating their life choices.

Rosalina has eaten a Poison Mushroom and isn't feeling well.

Prince Florian is rapidly approaching your location.

Duplighost has adopted a kitten and named them after Claymorton.

Shiny Skipsqueak has had way too much caffeine and needs to be restrained.

Merlon is taking Lava Piranha on a date.

Mega Brighton has sadly passed away.

Lemmy has purchased Twitter for 1 cent.

I want to punch Mamar

Francis is riding Yoshi!

Boomer, Vampire Pokey, and Ice Paper Toad are watching The Super Mario Bros. Movie together.

Zombie Shroomlock is a Discord moderator.

Rosalina tried licking a Switch cartridge.

Superball Flying Squirrel Dry Bowser is rapidly approaching your location.

Huey and Robo Zombie Baby Bowser are at Super Nintendo World.

Wario is trying to fool Robo Boomer with a paper-thin disguise.

Count Bleck is a Discord moderator.

Olivia ain't got no iPhone.

Shiny Mega Mario and Donkey Kong Jr. are drinking their troubles away.

I wish Connie appeared more often.

O'Chunks is gay.

Francis is now in Super Smash Bros.!

Luma has sadly passed away.

Mamar is riding Yoshi!

Boomer has been having nightmares in which Sushie chases them relentlessly with a large knife.