I’m not surprised at all. How stupid do you think I am

Mitch McConnell just sucked my dick. I sure hope he was alive

Maybe it’s just Seattle

If I was in the CIA I’d pitch an Iran false flag just to blow this up

Cabo fuckin Verde has lived a dozen sports movies the past month

Whoever stops me from unloading this garage full of Herbalife bullshit is a Chinese Communist

Michael E. Carter@deckofcarterhist.bsky.social · last mo.

"The Pope is the puppet of the Chinese authoritatian government" is a take you would make if you made billions by drinking paint.

Adam Silver has made the new CBA into a combo of Calvinball and credit default swaps mashed up with a dizzy bat race

Shams Charania Tweets@shamsbot.bsky.social · last mo.

BLOCKBUSTER: The Boston Celtics have agreed to trade Jaylen Brown to the Philadelphia 76ers for Paul George, two first-round picks and two second-round picks, sources tell ESPN.

Surely someone in charge realizes this is to some degree a branding thing. Saying you're DSA is a way to say "I'm not a mainline Democrat, who everyone hates, I'm a cool Democrat." Centrists run against the party too, usually by shooting a climate bill with an assault rifle. Just pretend it's that

Nathan Kalman-Lamb@nkalamb.bsky.social · last mo.

I’m crying

Happy Fathers Day to everyone who decided to surprise dad with an early breakfast in bed, and consequently discovered that mom likes a little pre-church reverse cowgirl

You try to remember that a lot of people who go to work for the CIA just have a facility with languages and want to spend a few years overseas. Then there are the Elissa Slotkin types who would gladly self-MK Ultra for the chance to kill Castro with a zipgun disguised as a pool noodle

NPR@npr.org · 2mo ago

Sen. Elissa Slotkin, D-Mich., says Trump's threat to block FISA reauthorization is like "cutting off your nose to spite your face."

I never thought I'd die fighting alongside a guy who thinks 5G is a Chinese plot to weaken his jizz

Aubrey Gilleran@aubreygilleran.bsky.social · 2mo ago

The way that rural Trumpers from my hometown have gone full anti-data center makes me think that, even if it's a Glonzo issue, Democrats in rural districts should go all-in on being against them.

When he was younger and hornier (and before the zeitgeist changed), Simmons would analogize athletes to famous babes, which was dumb but at least legible. Now it's like "Josh Giddey, House, is he in the Stanley Tucci Zone?" and you have to piece the meaning together like it's an ancient scroll

Brendel@brendelbored.bsky.social · 2mo ago

I do give Bill Simmons credit for remaining the exact same level of annoying for my entire adult life. You turn on Bill Simmons today and he will be saying “Robert Duvall, he’s one of those actors I call a Larry Bird actor because he can do everything you need”

About once every 20 years, everyone who works in investing sorts out their prisoner's dilemma and realizes if they work together they can wish the line up. Then they get bailed out and we all get barrels for pants. No way to solve this

FinTwitter@fintwitter.bsky.social · 2mo ago

SPACEX OVERTAKES MICROSOFT TO BECOME THE FOURTH BIGGEST COMPANY BY MARKET VALUE

"It's a show based around clueless, insensitive, racist, sexist people that kind of mirrors the United States in a lot of ways." Shout out to Rainn for having an opinion you know is honest because in it's totality it will hit for absolutely no one

Entertainment Weekly@ew.com · 2mo ago

Rainn Wilson is calling out a 'bias in the media' toward 'liberal policies' for his belief that 'The Office' could not be made today, saying it would be 'too hard to be as politically incorrect as the show was.'

Feels like Jared Leto does this three times a year. To make this list his next movie will need to make -$6 dollars

Movie & TV Show News (Comic Basics)@comicbasics.com · 2mo ago

Box Office Disaster: ‘Masters of the Universe’ Suffers Historic Second-Weekend Drop, Now Tracking to Be One of the Biggest Bombs of All Time

Congrats to all the great New Yorkers! The Ninja Turtles. Naked Cowboy. RZA. My friend Sam. Chandler Bing. The lady who tried to stab me on the subway and was correct. The one cop. Action Bronson’s cheese monger

I’m just glad Timothee Chalomet finally had some luck

coreyryanforrester.substack.com/p/are-you-no...

The owner inherited them, is an asshole sex-creep, could not be dislodged after five decades of incompetence, and used his money to build a surveillance state to harass anyone who complained. So yes yes you get it

In 20 years, every New Yorker will have been there. It's like in surveys how apparently eight million people were at Woodstock

Seth Rosenthal@sethrosenthal.bsky.social · 2mo ago

ooooooh this video is incredible. this is the one www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL4T...

Same, just as a big fan of dark comedies. Just watched her latest, "Over Your Dead Body," where Weaving and Jason Segal play a couple plotting to murder each other. A guy dies from lawnmower. 10/10

Asawin Suebsaeng@swin24.bsky.social · 2mo ago

I know this is like preferring Aerosmith over Led Zeppelin (an opinion I hold actually) but I much prefer Samara Weaving’s work and choices to Margot Robbie’s in recent years

Woke socialist failure "Mayor" Mamdani has the Knicks in the second apron. World Wide Wes can now only afford to be State Island Wes. JD had to drop The Straight Shots off at a kill shelter

David_j_roth@davidjroth.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Currently workshopping a guy who's mad that Mamdani's getting credit for a Knicks team that was actually built during Eric Adams' administration. Really looking forward to seeing where this goes.

"Alexa, describe to me the feeling of standing in a place, and thinking about how it felt to be others there across millennia, and how this place shaped them and their lives." Need to travel obviated

Gershom Gorenberg גרשום גורנברג@gershomg.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Reporter for The Free Press says there’s no point in going places yourself if you can read about them on Wikipedia. Truly, the soul of a journalist.

Never had better proof that I’m a latent gambling addict than how upset I am to be this robbed by the remember-some-guys roulette wheel

California’s stupid long lag time when tabulating votes being seen as evidence of fraud is even stupider to me. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but who takes longer to not count ?

It's me, I ran this scam. I just really wanted to pay a $4,000 deductable to have my prescription not be covered after the in-network doctor I hate sent it to the wrong pharmacy

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2mo ago

Dr Oz: "We believe that 35 percent of the people using the Obamacare exchanges may not be legit. That's 5, 6 million people. We have to evaluate these numbers. They are extremely concerning."

One of my favorite episodes of 'Veep' is the one where Amy is tasked to find out who anonymously called the president the c-word and when pressed everyone confesses. Anyway,

Zeteo@zeteo.com · 2mo ago

🤫 ‘Reservoir Dogs’: Trump’s Massive Leak Hunt Stalled Out For This Hilarious Reason Turns out it's hard to find blabbing snitches when everybody is a snitching blabber. Read today's 'First Draft' by @swin24.bsky.social: zeteo.com/p/reservoir-...

Luke Kornet just changed the tides of history. Unreal

If a team I cared about was in this game I’d either be blackout drunk or bleeding out after headbutting a glass door

I had to run to the store during the game but left it on and my wife’s recap of what happened (not knowing or caring anything about basketball) was that SGA makes a lot of stupid faces