*The obese Demon King senses your presence, growling deeply beneath His reclined crown* Excellent. you're just in time for dinner. 😈

Do I NEED to get high before taking a shower? No. Is sitting My fat ass down in a shower chair and basking in the hot rain like an obese Alex Owens 100x more pleasant when I'm blissfully buzzed? Well...yeah. Obviously. Make every moment, big & small, as pleasurable as it can be. 🥰

My ol' (24yr) Toyota Camry needs some TLC. Put in new coil packs, plugs, valve cover gasket, PCV valve, breather hose, etc. Engine light is off & she's running a LOT better. Gotta do new hoses, serp belt, oil & filters, & fix a few rust spots, but that's for another day(s). *flops, sore & exhausted*

My 25 year old car was returned to Me in pieces, running like shit. Pulled the plugs & top-end apart to see what's going on. 1st issue is the spark plug holes are filled w/ oil, fouling the plugs/coil packs. 2nd issue is...I'm fat, old, & dripping sweat from every roll, bulge, & appendage. *pants* 🥵

In the future, tater tots will be used as currency.

I spent my whole life sacrificing & giving away what I had so others could succeed & be happy. Their needs always came first. Now I'm old & want to start rebuilding some semblance of a life, but I've got a broken body/mind, junked car, no $, no more snap... People get fucked & die sad I guess. 🫥

To counter the negative vibe of a "hot take"... Furry was & always will be the place where a sacred, ideal version of Myself becomes a reality. It's where I found friends, community, My husband/partners, & a true sense of belonging. Even with all its flaws, it's home. Be you & stay weird. 💜

Such gentle, beautiful play... 🥰💜

I 💙 Dogs@dogs100.bsky.social · 2w ago

CaturDogDay Play…

Ya'll will burn down someone over chik-fil-a, a.i., etc but continue to support conventions, art sites, artists, etc who have a long, documented history of being &/or defending ped0s, rapists, animal abusers, racists, sexists, psychopaths, etc who use/exploit our community & treat people like shit.

laser 🍩 paints @ EF@laserpaints.com · 8mo ago

give me your hottest furry take

'Like a lot of people I sit around and dream of owning a Dodge Viper with a chandelier in it.' --Zach Galifianakis

I get my lettuce at Shit Sprinkler Farms, so I think I'm safe.

I'm the type of guy that if wet, dirty, stray dogs, cats, foxes, raccoons, coyotes, bunnies, birbs, badgers, or ANY animal scratched at My door at 3am, I'd let them all in and make cookies. 🥰

Cute Fox Begs to Be Let In

ALT: Cute Fox Begs to Be Let In

static.klipy.com

*The gluttonous, old Hellhound King lounges on His plush throne, His massively-obese body propped on silk pillows. He sucks lazily on a hookah pipe while imp servants oil, massage, worship, & tend to the Beast's mammoth body, and every desire.* A much-needed "Me" day. 😈

👇🏽💯💜

The Latest Kate@thelatestkate.bsky.social · 2w ago

This weekend I helped a dear friend celebrate her 40th birthday, visited with old friends, had quality doggie time, did more bong rips than jesus, gorged on cheeseburgers & cheesecake, & still had time for swaying in My hammock on a lazy Sunday. Life is good. Happy Hellhound. 🥰

Bluesky Drinking Game: Take a drink every time you stop on a post of an adorable pet only to find out it's dead. 😳 (Can we maybe fucking NOT?! It's hard enough to keep My head above water in this fiery diarrhea tornado without seeing a constant parade of "Rainbow Bridge Fun Run" participants!)

If "I did a stupid on the tug machine" doesn't become the new universal term for jerking off we're doing the universe a great disservice.

Mordekai ➡️ Furpoc@kendarvesuvius.bsky.social · 3w ago

I finally did a stupid on the tug machine.

👇🏽💯🥰

Introvert Problems@introvertproblems.bsky.social · 3w ago

Not a fan of small talk or big talk. Medium talk isn’t so great either. My interactions with dogs and cats though are always top notch

Don't shit on your food. That's the rudimentary level survival strategy we're failing as a species. #Doomed 🌈

So...at what point in this flaming, fascist, polio-riddled, diarrhea sprinkler, suicidal death sentence shithole hellscape (USA) do the people dying in the streets finally snap and tear the ped0 cunts responsible for all this apart like monkey bread? We don't just die quietly...do we?

Classic Zombie Horror Scene

ALT: Classic Zombie Horror Scene

static.klipy.com

My current musical addiction is this masterpiece by the B-52's. Wholly underrated album. I wish they'd finished this album with David Byrne, because I think the EP has some of their best songwriting & a beautifully unique sound. Reminds me of a long drive back from the beach. Warm, sleepy, happy. 🥰

Baking My blubber in Hell's glorious glow. 🔥🥰🔥 (I'd rub popsicles on My nipples but I ate them all. I can do soy sauce through) Wishing you peace and love, fellow travelers. 💜

"Verify your age" jesus hadn't been invented yet and the moon landing was still a quaint idea.

XanderWulf@xanderwulf.bsky.social · 3w ago

"Verify your age" I used to have to carry around pocket change when out in case I needed to make a phone call

Worker at grocery store promo table stops Me as I waddle by: You want some free snacks? Me: Of course! Worker: You get free soda too, but you have to hug the machine first. Me: *winces* Oh god... I'd love to, but I have a horrible rash that hasn't cleared up yet." Worker: Oh! I'm so sorry!

Penguin: It Was A Joke

ALT: Penguin: It Was A Joke

static.klipy.com

Yeah, a highlight reel of all the past, present, and future trauma racing through My head at 5 in the morning. This is much better than sleep. 🙄 To anyone out there struggling... I feel ya. 💜

Just to let you all know... If any website/app requires My personal information to use, I will abandon it then & there. I was born & raised long before this technology existed, & I'll be fine without it. There's a whole world of trees, birds, & doggies to explore. Life doesn't happen on a screen. 💜

A diarrhea parasite outbreak? Really?! Because that's what was missing. 🙄 Now you can die of poverty, get dragged off & shot by the secret police, be denied basic human rights, AND shit yourself?!?! *waves big #1 foam finger* USA! USA!

Dokteur Caca Outdoors

ALT: Dokteur Caca Outdoors

static.klipy.com

"Tonight Science will explore the evidence & peer-reviewed data collected on Keebler Elves and the Tiny Dancing Jesus that lives in your mayonnaise." Ya know..."SCIENCE"!

👇🏽💯 ALL OF THIS! It's really not that hard to understand pup play, furry, kink, escapism, etc if you've got a few brain cells & an ounce of empathy to rub together. The world can be a nightmare for some of us. So we find ways to express ourselves, take part, belong, & find peace. Beautiful. 💜

i'm buppy?@barawerewolf.bsky.social · 4w ago

"why are so many gay guys into puppy play" idk man you ever been autistic and got so tired of pretending to be neurotypical that you just wanted to be in a space where it's socially acceptable to be nonverbal and for your face to be obscured and not having to worry about saying the wrong thing or