I'm going to make a Wally George sculpture out of Pez and list it for $101,000
Matt Oswalt
@mattoswaltva.bsky.social
remember me? We met on Twitter and would get together every Tuesday afternoon at the Motel 6 outside Fresno.
Elon is right, I've read The Odyssey and Helen is specifically described as a white woman with blonde hair, dark roots, 32DD silicone breasts, a lower back tattoo of Dale Earnhardt, and who cums at the sight of a doughy trust fund kid.
I'll believe Mitch McConnell is really alive when he performs Puttin' On the Ritz with Gene Wilder
BREAKING: The Strait of Hormuz and Canal of Lindsey Graham are closed
TODAYS SCOTUS RULING: the president is definitely a rapist and let's give him more executive power
wow, the line at Lindsey Graham's Great American Glory Hole must be really long
the Iran deal is so unpopular analysts predict it'll take at least 3 fake assassination attempts and a zombie squirrel invasion for Trump to cancel the midterms
everything with Trump is staged optics. He wanted to sign the Iran peace deal today so he could announce it tonight at the 250th celebration and pretend like he and he alone saved our country from nuclear destruction. the saddest part is his followers are such rubes they would have believed it
wow, did a young Lindsey Graham just blow Mr. Strickland at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance?
NBA is rigged! when Spurs had 29 point lead the game should have been immediately stopped and Spurs declared winner. Instead officials decides to play "4th quarter?" and Knicks "somehow" score enough baskets to win. Fraud!
Obama should sit courtside for Game 4. No bulletproof glass, no napping. He'd get a 10 minute standing ovation. Players from each team would hug him. It'd send Trump into such a violent rage he'd choke to death on a Filet 'O Fish
haven't heard New Yorkers boo a politician this badly since the mayor from Taking of Pelham 123
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2mo agoTrump, shown on camera during the national anthem, is booed loudly at MSG
voting to once again keep a reality star megalomaniac buffoon out of public office. my 9th grade Civics teacher who could recite every Schoolhouse Rock song and Monty Python sketch would be proud
I TOLD you going to jail for me and ruining your life would pay off. Enjoy this gold-painted Radio Shack Flip Phone, J6ers!
he's not building a ballroom, he's building a tomb. when he dies he'll be displayed there like Vladimir Lenin, his grotesque corpse preserved as a monument to himself, forever adjoined to the most powerful and important structure in our nation like an inoperable tumor
imagine how many people would have stayed for dessert if he was actually shot
this is worse than Trump dressing as Jesus. This piece of shit harassed a woman into suicide leaving her child without a mother and he's playing the "God's plan" card. Really? So God MADE you do it as part of some divine purpose us mortals just can't comprehend. Seriously, fuck these evangelicals.
Lindsey Graham to celebrate historic Iran ceasefire by going to Knotts Berry Farm by himself and wandering around slowly eating a frozen banana while making eye contact with children until he's politely asked to leave
lets hope tonights nuclear armageddon teaches every 13-year old sex trafficked girl to NEVER bite a customers penis
if Obama said "praise be to Allah" on Easter Sunday Republicans would lose their...oh who are we kidding, if Obama ate a fucking pita bread sandwich on Arbor Day Republicans would lose their shit
Pam Bondi leaves her government job protecting pedophiles to spend more time as a private citizen protecting pedophiles
TRANSLATION: "I built a bunch of casinos I guaranteed were going to turn Atlantic City into paradise then bankrupted them all because I have no idea what I'm doing so now I'm gonna cash out and walk away and leave you all to deal with the disaster I created fuck you."
John Waters is right. It was shocking to see Divine eat dog shit once but watching Republicans eat Trump's loaded diaper every day gets boring after awhile
