(barber who is not really clear what type of haircut i want) say more fam
lost hold of my phone and as i tried to regain my grip i accidentally sent a text to my boss that says my piss comes out in one shot—no pumping with the em dash and everything
if the electric chair was invented today it would be called like SmartChair or some shit
I've never felt that I have ever truly applied the same amount of deodorant to both armpits
The usage of toenails as currency in Aaahh!!! Real Monsters may have seemed strange at first, but upon further examination had a high level of practicality. In this essay,
just got word that my wife will be washing her hair today
add a "t" to any movie title to make it "Steven", i'll go first: Steven
liking a movie so much you put a sticker of it on your car
if your wife fidgets in her sleep simply cut her in half
when I was little I was scared of the dark except for on halloween. when we went trick or treating I would run into the stranger's house as soon as the door opened
list of things that aren't temporary 1. time (maybe) 2. can't think of another one
scrolling around hiding posts for me. which ones? idk they're gone
bumper sticker idea: i'm getting to work so much faster than you
yanking toilet paper off the roll like a lawnmower pull start
after you get out of the shower you dry off your various tubes