Eve

@mialiina.bsky.social

Just another Finnish nerd 🍀 35 ✨️ | she/her | videogames 🎮 | dungeons&dragons 🐉 | photography 📷 | casual artist ✏️

TW: Depression So, yeah. I don't think I've been this depressed for years, if ever. My situation at work sucks and it has become quite clear that neither my close supervisor nor the big bosses of our organization care. I've tried to be brave, bring the problem to the table, but nothing happens.

As a Christmas gift to myself, I mustered my courage and gave an honest answer when a relative of mine asked the mandatory "so how's work" question. The look on their face was priceless when I started yapping about my burnout and how it has been going on for half a year now.

I spoke with dad on the phone and for the first time years I found myself being the one who didn't want the call to end. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but we've never been super close and I don't have a strong bond with them. During this call though, I suddenly felt strange homesickness.

Today I took a spontaneous trip to the neighborhood where I grew up. After work, I just felt like it called me, so I chose a different buss and let it take me there. There was something poetic about it, wandering in the melancholic dark of November and walking the streets I used to walk as a kid.

Today a nice teenager said to me: "you've have had tough day, haven't you?" and I almost started crying, 'cause I realized how much I've been needing and wanting for someone to ask me that or how I'm doing. Of course, this teen wasn't aware of my struggles, but god did I felt seen. And it was nice ❤️