The fact that there is still no widespread "stealth mode" for microwaves (no fucking beeping, etc., OBVIOUSLY) is a blatant rejection of everything I hold dear
Miranda Childs
@mirandachilds.bsky.social
I just want to thank you so much for your support I couldn't have done it without you and it just means so much
When I was younger I thought Gym Tan Laundry was a joke but I now realize it is a profound and significant life philosophy
looking for an etsy witch or similar: every time I want to make grilled cheese the once-soft room temperature butter is suddenly in the fridge, cold and hard-- need this curse removed ASAP
Some days I LITERALLY cannot believe it is 2028. Like I ACTUALLY believe is is 2025, max. 2026.
Still peeved about the time I couldn't remember that Portishead is called Portishead and when I searched for "sex music band 1990s" the internet failed me
On the one hand I'm grateful I forget about this platform in an early internet type of way & on the other hey what are you all doing why can't I turn on notifications :/
Just thinking about how cringey twenty somethings new to New York are always using app-based car services instead of hailing cabs like living humans
I like how people talk about cord management like it's a grad program at NYU Stern
It should be illegal under grounds of psychological abuse for news outlets to do a "year in re-cap"
If you, an American, finish a French movie and realize it was all too familiar because you saw the Danish movie it was based on, are you in too deep? Or just the right amount?
The silliest way you can react to anything in 2025 is to be "alarmed"
if you're having the worst year of your life this is just a reminder that you're not special and everything can and will get worse-- hope this helps!
Still mad about that moron with a pilot's license who thought that if I loved take-off I'd "really love landing." Oh right the earthly plane. Fuck you/does not compare.
My dad just saw a poster of Anne Hathaway and said it looks like me because we're "both in the movies"
If I die choking on a fish bone I want everyone to know I went down doing something I enjoy and I got what was coming to me (congratulations fish)
You know the thing about bidets is I do think you need to see the instructions first
"Hanging in there?" seems fine to inquire but impossibly to reply. Are you "hangin' in," hanging in there," or "hanging in here"?
A bug just flew into my nose and I don't know if it flew out I DON'T KNOW IF IT FLEW OUT
I know a lot of people are doing a lot of important unpaid work that they are never acknowleged for so I just want to point out that today a child asked me to buy them "a blunt" and I refused, I did not do it
Personally I am seeking a momentary reprieve from watching seeing hearing (of) or observing anyone doing saying or being anything anyway etc.
I love how many Dexter spinoffs there are because nothing is more of a gentle wink to our national mood than the popular obsession with likeable serial killers
Sorry I didn't respond to your email. Been swamped with currently trapped in crevasse in an untraversable Chilean mountain range an apple screensaver convinced me was the only place I'd ever feel whole & calm again. Best regards, Miranda Childs
Today I learned that you can't do a cute photo shoot by the side of the freeway just because there is a sign that says Soft Shoulder
Was worried my worst fears had come true!!! (worried I'd spilled salad on my dog)
There is chocolate ice cream somewhere in my hair but it could be anywhere oh well
I just hurt my elbow scooping ice cream but I think if someone could send me $1,000,000 or whatever it would really help
why do they make these lovesick smooth brains drinketh from a goblet of metal? Isn't it enough punishment to be on "unscripted" television?
I dreamt I had a baby cow as a pet. I had to carry her everywhere and she was so heavy.