I was expecting to spend all my time on the exodites from the Exodites box, but I'm having too much fun with the orks. It's been a while since I played an ork army. My first-ever army was actually an Evil Sunz warband. They hit fast, hit hard, then ran away like cowards at the first morale check.

I managed to blow up that big contract I was so proud of. I thought I could handle a big queer-run company, but they were something Crystal called "tenderqueer". They needed to be handled completely differently.

Sorry. I really don't like Minecraft. Everyone tells me it's amazing, but all my memories of it are being in a hole staring at the same 16x16 dirt texture.

Kristin 🇨🇦🤓@faierius.bsky.social · 4d ago

No hate, no dogpiling, just curious. For me, it's Skyrim. Don't know why, considering it should be exactly my kind of game, but it just didn't click for me.

Just picked up the last Exodite box! No preorder. No reserve. Just walked into the FLGS with pure Main Character Energy.

(Pulling into the driveway the same time as Crystal) Me: Doll! This week was incessant. All I want to do is ravage a sissy's hole. (Slams Crystal against the car) Crystal: Mistress... Don't... Me: Can't take it? Crystal: We're outside. Neighbors are watching. Me: Oh. Hi, Mrs. McGurk! 🫣

I actually hate Pinot, but this one's good. It's fancy. Fancy Pinots taste like Merlot, which is good but not fancy. I think the Pinot is broken. Not this Pinot. This one's good. Pinots in general. You say Pinot, but they're spelled like Peanut. Pinot. Piiinot. Pinotte. Pinot butter and jelly.

In the corner of the wine cellar, there's a bottle of Pinot from the Price Family Estates at Gap's Crown. I was saving until I accomplish something special at work. Today, I gave Crystal the order to uncork it for dinner. 🍾

Trolli Gummi Pops promises the wiggly, gummi experience in a popsicle. In this #mistresseats, your favorite dommy mommy is going to be sucking on a long, rubbery phallic object. And this is the ONLY picture you're going to get.

ROUTINE?! Crystal wrote that our kink life is routine!? Taking my strap is an apocalyptically mind blowing experience! Sex with me is a transformative event, goddammit! Just who the hell do you think I am!

DollMaidCrystal@dollmaidcrystal.bsky.social · 2w ago

This week's blog post is about casual sex. No, not that kind. The monogamous kind. The kind of casualness where being taken with a strap-on is done the same way as a quick peck on the cheek. fetlife.com/DollMaidCrys...

There is a line between "makes me want to punish you" and "makes me want to explode your head with my invisible mind beams".

(New sub at the Femdom munch) 🧔‍♀️: You're Mistress Aspyce? You are so pretty in real life. Me: Thank you. 🧔‍♀️: I've always wanted to ask- Do you have an OnlyFans? Me: 😳 😑 No! Why would I have an OnlyFans!? 🧔‍♀️: Doesn't everyone who's Mistress Something have one? Me: NO! 🧔‍♀️: Can you start one?

Crystal is still trying to rush her recovery from donating blood solids. Now she's going around punching brick walls whenever she has free time. (Because something bone marrow something Kung Fu.) I hope the manager of the grocery store forgives us.

I've been hired to review and vet "AI Upskilling" training courses. It is harder than I expected. "LLMs mean the computer can truly understand ideas." No it can't! "Computers couldn't create until the 2010s." Tell that to Phillip Glass! "Computers couldn't understand English until 2003." AAAARGH!

📺: The aliens are coming to rape us and kill our families! Crystal: Mistress, what are you watching? 📺: We have to stop them, but first let's take a shower! Me: Uhh... Serious sci-fi. 📺: Your breasts feel so amazing. Crystal: Her tits look plastic. Me: It's foreshadowing. She's really a Cylon.

The Miis created a fanclub for me. One of those Miis is puppy-era me! Don't go to a fanclub dedicated to your future self! That's some kind of sci-fi tacky!

Today I donated blood at the local blood drive, and Crystal donated blood solids for the first time. We both learned that Crystal's kung fu sex slave fast healing turns off without enough red blood cells. (Crystal: I hate this. Is this what you always feel like?) And my sympathy for her is gone.

Giant pile of sissies: ...so you should buy a silicone dollsuit for us. Me: No. I like skin contact. Crystal: You don't get a lot of that with me. Me: That's different! Latex is thin and smells nice! I don't like the feel of silicone. Crystal: And my silicone breastplate? Me: That's different!

My twink rival came back for another round of bar karaoke, and he learned his lesson from last time. His setlist was all crowd-pleasing pop staples. His fake ID was confiscated, too. That should count as a form of doping for drunken bar karaoke.

My parents have finally left. I can finally enjoy a nice IPA while sitting on a sissy's face without judgement.

I have to work, so I left Crystal to take my parents to do tourist things. On one hand, @dollmaidcrystal.bsky.social is an excellent host. On the other hand, I just left my personal sex slave in charge of entertaining my parents.

Everything I want to eat is trying to kill me. Everything I don't want to eat is trying to kill me. Fuck it. I'm going to survive on saltines and Cosmopolitans.

Kevin Tompkins@ktompkinsii.bsky.social · last mo.

Me: "It's time to start eating healthy." Lettuce: "I'm going to give you explosive diarrhea!" Chips and cookies in my pantry: "I would never do that to you."

Me: Okay, dog. It's time to clean out the garbage you've been hiding in your bed. 🐶: No! My stuff! Me: Found my missing blue hoodie. 🐶: My hoodie! Me: Books on consulting... 🐶: Am business dog. Need to know business. Me: ... and the specs for a 5MWe micro fission reactor!? 🐶: Am confused too.

🧚🏼‍♀️: I have good news! Me: Yes, dear? 🧚🏼‍♀️: I got a job! I'll be paying for drinks at the next domme meetup! 🧛🏼‍♀️: Congrats! 👸🏼: Round of champagne! Me: Wonderful! Doing what? 🧚🏼‍♀️: Not allowed to say. 🧛🏼‍♀️: With who? 🧚🏼‍♀️: People. 🧛🏼‍♀️: We're all thinking 🧚🏼‍♀️'s job is killing people, right? 👸🏼: Yes. Me: Yep.

If the taste is too strong for you, try a little pineapple juice.

Big Fat Ugly Bug-Faced Baby-Eating O'Brien, RN@twogreenparrots.bsky.social · last mo.

theliquorbros.com/products/ada... I know you were all wondering if the Armenian dick brandy tastes good and I'm happy to report it's godawful. If this is 5 star Armenian brandy I cannot imagine what the 1 star tastes like.

Bad news: One of the ACs at the House of Aspyce is broken. Good news: Only the upstairs AC is broken. Downstairs still has AC. The rubberdolls will be perfectly fine if I never let them leave the dungeon. Don't worry I fed and watered them.

Watching the Fireworks finale: Me/Crystal: 🎇🎇 OOO 🤩 Me/Crystal: 🎆🎇🎆 AAAH 🤩 Me/Crystal: 💥 AAARGH! (Gets covered in ash and paper shrapnel) 😵

Happy 4th Of July! I day dedicated to celebrating American things like truck nuts, and light beer, and eating way too much processed sugar. This #MistressEats is the special edition Oreo Firecracker Pop with three layers of fruit filling! I feel prediabetic just looking at it.

Ugh. It's too hot and I'm too tired to order sissy slaves around. Crystal, order yourself around for a while, and be a little mean about it. That's an order.

Me: These candidates should fit your company's needs. 👔: We can't hire them. Our policy is once we reject a candidate, they're out of the pool. We already rejected them all. Me: Why? 👔: Because we hired someone else. Me: Who? 👔: Well, they were a Chinese bot. But it had a great resume! Me: 🤦‍♀️

Me: Why is this bag of lettuce so hard to open?! Lettuce should not be hard to eat. Cows can hunt lettuce! Our BURGERS eat you. That’s how far below us on the food chain you are! @mistressaspyce.bsky.social: (Not even looking up from her Pokémon game) Crystal, there’s scissors in the drawer.