Just absolutely HONKING out hot toots that smell like a fire in the bin behind a clap clinic and honestly, this is when cats win out over a romantic partner because not *one* word of complaint.
Mitten d'Amour
@mittendamour.bsky.social
I once bought a cold drink for a tramp on a hot day - turns out he wasn’t a secret millionaire; total fucking waste of 80p. (She/her)
Not a pretty video but I’m clocking it because I’ve been feeling weak and not seeing progress in the gym recently but decided to have a second go at a 100kg deadlift and it was EASIER and I am not weaker I am STRONG LIKE FARM GIRL YES
I know the majority of the population are not afflicted with the genes that make corriander taste like something used to strip stains off hotel upholstery, but owing to the amount of times Asian eateries have 'accidentally' inflicted it in a stealth assault, I'm going to have to ban it completely.
If you have a crush on me, keep reading because I will cure that. If you’ve had a bad day, keep reading because I will cure that. If you just enjoy laughing at others’ misfortune, well, you get it. 🪡
My dad can be a diabolical Boomer and a bellend, but sometimes he really is a ruddy bloody good sort 🥹
I’ve given Mort the TV remote. He’s chosen Columbo. Democracy.
Category is… I brushed my teeth - what more do you want?!
I love going to the gym, but you know how at the hairdresser you’re sat facing a mirror and end up picking apart every single thing wrong with your face until you are nothing but a pustule of self loathing? Well that but Full. Body. 360.
Couldn’t decide what to make for dinner and Morrisons really said “FISH AND FUCKING CHIPS BITCH!”
Got a really bad rash in my armpits and two helpful guys came over to discuss my lat pulldown form staring intently.
a woman is crying in front of a window in a building .
ALT: a woman is crying in front of a window in a building .
media.tenor.com
The three stages of Minou snuggles… 1. The shouting and removal of personal space
Very rare moment of hating being a voraciously independent single person this evening.
Not the key point, but all the 'Andrew Mountbatten Windsor' coverage shows how quickly and easily the entire UK media complex can switch to someone's new name/title, even after using their old one for decades, when it's an incredibly pampered white male deviant. So, you know, it's not *that* hard...
Went to sleep at 19:17 last night and, you guessed it, still arose today with a face like a melting fleshlight.
Category is… campaign for yesterday to be a public holiday forevermore.
This might be the first time the people of the UK are happy to fork out for Nonce Andrew’s free food and board
a blue and red sign that says law & order dun dun
ALT: a blue and red sign that says law & order dun dun
media.tenor.com
Nonce Andrew arrested... - on his BIRTHDAY! The British sense of humour is second to none. (Your move, America)
I’m not religious but I think for Lent I’m giving up.
There was a post on Threads asking if the sudden obsession with protein is somehow rooted in something sinister and people pointing out yes, it’s toxic gym bro culture linked to Naziism, and that made me sad. BUT…
The tzatziki I made for dinners this week tastes of perfumed toothpaste: a tragedy in two acts.
Incidentally watched The End of the Affair (1955) on Valentine’s Day and you know what, yeah. God isn’t real, everyone cheats and love is an unavoidable precursor to misery. 7/10 - would Valentine again 🥰
Why the FUCK are the men of east London so comfortable pissing in the street? I’ve just nipped to the shop a mere 2 minutes from my house and TWO separate oiks were unleashing piss against walls.
The sound of dainty Disney princess cat paws thundered across the floor toward me, leaping onto the sofa above my head. Three tiny yet violently wet sneezes directly to my face, a pause and the sound of dainty Disney paws thundering away. Mort. Mort is my favourite.
Last night’s solo date: Balthazar for dinner, Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap (obvs I worked out who the killer was right off), cocktail and a night cap at The Ivy.
People who chat during a play at the theatre deserve to have their tongues ‘de-gloved’ and their mouths packed with salt and vinegar crisps before being sewn shut. I will not be drawn on this.
Me: I love film noir and also Murder, She Wrote YouTube’s algorithm: Say less