I'm ready to be utterly transformed by beauty... and cruelty... an honest life carries both
Ladies and gentlemen, I've decided to FOLLOW MY HEART
Didactively moved an elderly woman's hand to the the functioning part of the card reader... like a real cunt
The people in Paris are very hot but NONE of them cover their mouths when they cough
Sensible people probably know this, but you shouldn't do shots when you have an active UTI (from the bathroom with love, your dumb friend ndv)
'Booboo' and 'doodoo', the collective nicknames of all pets
een organisator zei 'we zoeken iemand die een tekst kan schrijven over depressie en verslaving en we dachten meteen aan jou'
Dreamed I suddenly had an airfryer, used it to airfry green Play-Doh, made a huge mess which freaked me out and woke up to the worst UTI of my fucking life
geef jullie zonen alstublieft normale namen zodat een arme vrouw zich over 20-30 jaar geen cartoonpersonage voelt wanneer ze kl**rkomt
Eating a panini in the sun, I'm one with the animals
My mother is posting pictures of the man she's having an affair with on main, like a true soldier
The last time I made out in the street with someone... a teenage boy pulled up with a bike and whispered 'sexy...SEXY' into my suitor's ear
Went to see a movie, I was the only customer and they FORGOT I was in there and locked me in, I didn't even panic, a free adventure fell into my hands, but then people from outside saw me thru the window and they went to get help... I'm writing to you as a Liberated Woman
My (to my mind) artistic IG stories sent my mother into a frenzy of desperate prayer
We'll be safe again as soon as the harpsichord returns to pop music
Accidentally sent a Tiktok about Catholic chastity to my sister, who I've not seen in 15 months, CURSE that app and its sadistic interface
Told my mom I missed her and she texted back 'enjoy!!'
I feel so powerful traveling the world with a mere tote bag on my shoulder... I could be going anywhere...
I'm going to travel across the ocean and I didn't bring a single bra
I wish I was a sentient flower in the age of the dinosaurs
een bedelaar probeerde sympathie bij me te winnen met de woorden 'ik woon in Diemen, ik heb kanker' (in die volgorde)
de afgelopen 48 uur heb ik alleen maar uitzonderlijke dingen meegemaakt, mijn memoires zullen uitstekend zijn
The other day I was staying the night at someone's place and when I woke up their dog was all curled up sleeping in my arms