Been drawing some neon orchids, finally using one of the million art books I’ve bought from charity shops “for reference” that I never use for reference…

I need someone to play Clair Obscure: Expedition 33 so I can tell them that I bear Simon. Someone needs to understand this achievement, please! And I didn’t do it with a stupid build and maxed out stats I just learnt every attack and dodged nearly every single one. This has taken hours of my life.

I love Josh O’Connor as much as the next normal film lover, but he’s got to stop being cast as an American, he has the most British face I’ve ever seen.

“Today I must rest” I told myself. 3 hours, hedge trimmers, lawn mower, and lots of weeding later…

I spent Easter weekend in Barley, at the foot of Pendle Hill where my mothers lived (and where we scattered some of her ashes), then over to stay with my childhood best friend via Sylvia Plath’s grave. I am digesting a lot of emotions.

I'm reminded today of my love for my trans friends and my great admiration and gratitude for their inspirational lives.

It is incredibly angering that people are claiming feminism when stripping away the rights of trans women. All women are hurt when we are defined by our “biology”. When the rights of any women are stripped from them, it is a loss to all women.

There are not enough third person action adventure platformers with slash n hack combat with a female protagonist and stylised graphics and occult/esoteric/magical realism themes. More please.

I am LOVING South of Midnight. It is scratching the itch left by EA cancelling Alice Asylum.

This morning I finished Patricia Lockwood’s No One is Talking About This and I cried and cried and cried.

You can call it a digital garden all you want, it’s still staring at your phone or laptop for hours a day isn’t it.

I hope South Of Midnight realises how much my mental health is dependent on its release atm. “Well I’ve gotta carry on one more day so I can play South of Midnight on the 8th”.

I dunno guys, it’s just that they’re putting on a “Leicester homegrown talent” show and the headliner is convicted of domestic abuse and I’m just not sure I have it in my to be in this industry anymore.

Also found a poem I’d forgotten I’d written, diary mining is always worth it!

I am going through my diary and typing up entries I think might be interesting to others. They all seem to be about illness and autism and being a generally sensitive person. Hopefully they’ll make someone feel less alone, I know they would me if I’d stumbled across them in someone else’s work.

Not to be overdramatic but with libraries closing and all the independent publishers I know loosing their funding and humanities being cut back and devalued in school it doesn’t feel there will be a next generation of writers and artists, at least not any that don’t attend private schools.

People in Leicester, please look through these proposals for the changing of libraries in Leicester. Under this proposal my local library (and many other) would no longer be run by the council and could close entirely if a local group doesn’t want to run it. This would be devastating.

I’m really enjoying No One is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood, but I imagine that someone who’s never been chronically online would probably hate it, in the same way that I hate William Burroughs and have always assumed it’s because I haven’t taken the same drugs he had.

Contrapoint has done it again. The one and only master of the video essay. She’s the best to ever do it.

CONSPIRACY | contrapoints

YouTube video by ContraPoints

youtu.be

I was right, my prescription is incorrect. My eye saga continues. Now I have to get all my new glasses changed. Sigh.

Laura Marling’s Substack continued to be absolutely worth the subscription fee this month. This, Rayne Fisher-Quann, Courtney Askey and Sophie Mackintosh’s substacks are the only ones I actually read anymore. I might just unsubscribe to everything else tbh.

The Tarot of Songwriting 17 - The Star

self portraits, memoirs and what's left behind

open.substack.com

Sending my love, admiration and respect to all my trans friends on this Trans Day of Visibility. You are a constant source of inspiration. Thank you. #TransDayOfVisibility

Replayed The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood on switch, it’s still a perfect 5 ⭐️ for me.

Tv Series I finished in March: - Severance season 2 4 ⭐️ - Adolescence 5 ⭐️ - The White Lotus season 1 4.5 ⭐️ - season w 4 ⭐️ - A Thousand Blows 3 ⭐️ - Toxic Town 4 ⭐️ - Gilmore Girls season 3, rewatch 100, impossible to rate - No taste Like Home with Antoni Porowski. Hard to rate, but charming.

Most listened to songs in March: 1) Sex & The Millenium Bridge by Divorce 2) Lord by Divorce 3) Jet Show by Divorce 4) Blunderbuss by I Set The Sea on Fire 5) Antarctica by Divorce 6) Fever Pitch by Divorce 7) Karen by Divorce 8) Catfish by Doechii 9) Von Dutch by Charli Xcx 10) Heart Shaped Box

Films watched in March: - The Outrun (2024) 4 ⭐️ - The Fellowship of The Ring (extended cut) 5 ⭐️ - Seven Psychopaths (2012) 3 ⭐️ - Robin Hood (1973) 4 ⭐️ - The Two Towers (extended cut) 5 ⭐️ - The Return of the King (extended cut) 5 ⭐️ - Nightbitch (2024) 3 ⭐️ The Royal Tenenbaums 2001) 4 ⭐️

Book read in March: - We Do Not Part by Han Kang 4 ⭐️ - She’s Always Hungry by Eliza Clark 5 ⭐️ The Wood at Midwinter by Susanna Clarke 4 ⭐️ - Love in Exile by Shon Faye 3 ⭐️ - The Cost of Living by Deborah Levy 4 ⭐️ - The Lamb by Lucy Rose 3.5 ⭐️

Aced my autism test.

Trying not to put pressure on myself to create or produce anything currently. I can read and play games and potter in the garden and take an afternoon bath. The last two months we’re about surviving, and it was not pretty. This month I want to enjoy it, maybe next month I can start to work again.