Noah Evslin
@nevslin.bsky.social
TV writer/producer: Rescue HI Surf, NCIS:HI. Hawaii 5-0, Colony, Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, Private Practice, more. Co-host SCREAMING INTO THE HOLLYWOOD ABYSS. Cancer warrior. From Kaua’i.
I’m having one of those weeks you just need to pinch yourself about. Career is (finally) good again. Great even. Marriage is good. Family is good. Surf is good. I woke up to an amazing sunrise. I’m trying to be better at appreciating these moments when they happen because life can come at you quick
My 10yo: I want to create a heavy metal band called Tungsten.
Here’s the trick to selling a TV series pitch. All you need to do is have the: Perfect idea And pitch it to The perfect producers And perfect studio And perfect network With the perfect mandate At the perfect time Who think you’re the perfect writer With the perfect credits At the perfect price
My kink is eating Haagen-Dazs while watching back episodes of ALONE.
Do any other families do “tradelasts” or just us? (I wasn’t even sure it was a real thing but apparently it’s in the Dictionary.)
I heard they’re making a new season of Widow’s Bay but this time set in the mountains called Widow’s Peak.
Top 5 Pixar movies. 1. WALL-E 2. The Incredibles 3. Toy Story 4. Ratatouille 5. Monsters, Inc
Real men don’t use tongs when taking a bagel out of a toaster. Instead they use their fingers like God intended (then shriek like an 10-year-old girl at a Taylor Swift concert when transferring from appliance to plate).
My kink is eating take out pizza while binge watching ALONE.
Quote of the tournament. “When I say things, things happen.” - Zlatan
Bieber: I have a pitch. After all that awesome hype shit, why don’t I come out in weird ass clothes and bring the energy WAY WAY down?
My mom’s called me messy my entire life… Who knew it was such an amazing compliment? Go, Argentina!
I watched THE ODYSSEY using a screener link on my phone… just like Nolan intended. (Kidding. I watched it on a regular screen but it felt like my phone after seeing all the posts about people watching in glorious 70mm IMAX.)
Career-wise, this has been the worst year of my life. I’ve never worked more for less money. That said, it just dawned on me that this same weekend I have two projects (one in film and one in TV) being read by the actor I wrote the project for. And that’s kind of cool.
Matt Damon’s agent: “It’s a movie where your character is lost and just wants to return—“ Matt Damon: I’LL DO IT!
Within the same 5 minutes I got bad news on a pitch and also learned my newest spec feature is being submitted to an A list actor. The whiplash in this biz is endless and exhausting.
Let’s be clear about something. He’s trying to start a Civil War to keep Dems from regaining power and sending him to prison. He’d rather millions of people die, and our country burn, then face justice.
Taking a multi-week break from posting on Threads. Somehow I got a lot of followers over there but it also brings out the worst in me (well this administration brings out the worst in everyone). Bluesky has such a more mellow vibe. Glad to hang out here for a bit with all y’all.
Most TV series or movies: “No animals were hurt or killed during filming.” ALONE on Netflix: “Many animals were hurt or killed during filming.” (Addictive show though.)
If I were ever allowed to play in the World Cup, I’d need to first convert to Catholicism and then buy a chain with a crucifix on it so I could kiss it as I run on the pitch.
“Uncontrollable explosive diarrhea” is kind of a metaphor for this entire era.
In about an hour, a representative for Trump will present Darline Graham Nordone with a file, the same file they gave her brother almost 10 years ago, and she’ll vote the way they want her to vote.
10yo: Dad I’m hungry. Me: What do you want to eat? 10yo: Food. Me: What kind of food? 10yo: I don’t know. Food. Me: I’m gonna need more direction than that. 10yo (thinks about it): How about food that’s facing North?
On the downside, I’ll never look at ladybugs the same way again.
God: Please take out the old racist senator from the south who’s made the world worse for a lot of people. Grim Reaper: Say no more.
I’ll give this to him. He looks better in death than he ever did in life.
